Moving On....

Thank you New York. You did for me what London was meant to do, two years ago. I would say it's a shame that it's two years late, but I guess I learned from those two years.

Upon returning from my trip I came to a startling realization. While I love Peaches, I am no longer IN love with him. It was like a tremendous weight lifted from my shoulders and I could breathe deeply again.

Don't get me wrong I don't want to give the impression that I've moved on from him because of his accident. If anything I thought his accident would surely render me even more hopeless about him. Although his accident did help to clarify some things for me. Like for instance: he's not IN love with me. While I'm sure I've known this for the past two two and a half years to really accept it helped me in a very big way.

I feel so good about it that I want to tell everyone. Even though no one (except a few VERY close friends knew how I felt) really knew what was going on. I must say that it is a relief to be able to go and visit him and not have that awkward feeling when his family or girlfriend show up.

So I'm not cutting him out of my life, in fact this is a good thing because I can move in a whole new positive direction with him. We are good friends, he'll always be important to me. Except now I can probably tell him I love him, and not have to worry about turning to stone!

Which makes it even more fabulous that I've met some decent boys in the last little while; who have some real potential..... Can't wait to see what happens there. But I'm definitely in NO rush!

(For those interested Peaches' recovery is still progressing, albeit slow and steady. More upper body movement; he's pushing his own wheelchair! Still waiting for some movement in his legs other than the spasms, but he does have feeling in them -- well at least he could feel me adjusting his legs and feet that one night. His spirit remains as positive as ever and I do find him truly inspiring. If you've got a little room in your prayers I'd appreciate the positive energy for him!)