As is the case when the year begins to wane, many news outlets turn to the traditional top stories, top ten videos, best music, most outrageous celebrities, top teams, etc., etc., etc. Which is a wise move because not only does news become scarce at this time of year (pending tragic assassinations, and police shootings) but it’s also a natural time of year for people to reflect on the year that was and hope for good things in the new year that is dawning.
So not to break with tradition, here’s my not so much top list of things from 2007 but rather just a bunch of random stuff that the year taught me; the highs, the lows and all the in-betweens.
The year started very uneventfully. Asleep before midnight I didn’t greet 2007 until sometime around mid-day on January 1. Then I kept to my anti-social ways and spent the day cooped up in my Shoe Box, reading, watching television and generally reveling in my own company. As far as I’m concerned it was a fabulous start to the new year.
From there things took off. There were some new boys and some old boys made an albeit brief reappearance. New friendships were forged some old ones were lost (sadly) or badly broken. Betrayals were made and I realized just how far you can and cannot trust some people.
But amongst the betrayals of trust, confessions of love, decisions to move forward, requests to stay behind, I had front row seats to the disintegration of a marriage. Then there’s pregnancy, pure unadulterated craziness in the form of one sister in-law, stupid mistakes, paralysis, unprecedented kindness, championships and one of the most memorable lessons I learned: sleeping with The Drummer will not take away the hurt about Peaches’ accident.
With all the bad comes the good. The silver lining on the year definitely has to be the progress that Peaches has made. His accident has given me a new appreciation of life, which is evident in the traveling I’ve done in the accident’s wake and my general outlook on life.
I make no resolutions because making resolutions is setting yourself up for failure. All I want out of 2008 is a little happiness, some good health and the same for all of you.
With a tip of the hat, 2007, I bid you adieu.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Odds and Ends!
Despite my rage earlier in the day about wanting to instate a rule that wouldn't allow anyone under 18 in Starbucks' I seem to be moving very contentedly into my evening.
Perhaps it was my conversation with Peaches.
His spirit and positivity only serves to make me feel content that I have someone like him in my life. Now that he and the girlfriend have parted ways I feel more comfortable about spending time with him again. It's too bad that my guy friends, girlfriends never like me, so because of the circumstances I decided to leave some space.
It's also good that he is helping me to stop procrastinating things in my life.
One think I truly love about vacations is the ability to disconnect. It was fabulous to be internet free, email-less, mobile-less and facebook free. Now if only I could disconnect a little more in my every day life.
I'm going MIA again for a few days. D is coming to town, Auntie is coming in, and I want to spend some time with Peaches. Rest assured a year in review is on it's way though!
Enjoy the weekend, I know I will!
Perhaps it was my conversation with Peaches.
His spirit and positivity only serves to make me feel content that I have someone like him in my life. Now that he and the girlfriend have parted ways I feel more comfortable about spending time with him again. It's too bad that my guy friends, girlfriends never like me, so because of the circumstances I decided to leave some space.
It's also good that he is helping me to stop procrastinating things in my life.
One think I truly love about vacations is the ability to disconnect. It was fabulous to be internet free, email-less, mobile-less and facebook free. Now if only I could disconnect a little more in my every day life.
I'm going MIA again for a few days. D is coming to town, Auntie is coming in, and I want to spend some time with Peaches. Rest assured a year in review is on it's way though!
Enjoy the weekend, I know I will!
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Mele Kaliki Maka
What a fabulous 10 days. Precisely what I needed to relax and unwind. I just wish that Poppy P would have decided against being a stubborn old goat and come with us, but I digress.
Travelling with Little Brother was fairly entertaining. Now there is someone who doesn't seem to sweat anything. He runs on his own time, doddling along and seems genuinely happy. I think he got all the patient "jeans"!
The only true rage I felt was the flight out of Honolulu with the screaming toddler -- I don't wanna! That was the whiniest voice ever. It also didn't help that with minimal leg room the guy in front of me decided to recline, I felt compelled to ask him if he would rather just sit in my lap! Then my head phones wouldn't work so I couldn't watch the movie. I was hoping to just sit back and tune everything and everyone out with my ipod but apparently it was all out of power. The rage was palpable as I sat between Mum and L. But we made it.
Best airport security staff was definitely in Hawaii as they chanted: "Chug CHUG, CHUG" to little brother as he realized he couldn't go through the checkpoint with his full vitamin water. Then the guard said to me, "what we encourage drinking responsibly".
So many hi-lites and lo-lites that I can't quite wrap my head around all of them because my body is still adjusting to the major temperature swing -- honestly why do I live here.
Now I just need to coast through the next two days of work and get another two off.
Taking three weeks of December off is a goal that I am going to try and attain every year now.
Merry Christmas!
Travelling with Little Brother was fairly entertaining. Now there is someone who doesn't seem to sweat anything. He runs on his own time, doddling along and seems genuinely happy. I think he got all the patient "jeans"!
The only true rage I felt was the flight out of Honolulu with the screaming toddler -- I don't wanna! That was the whiniest voice ever. It also didn't help that with minimal leg room the guy in front of me decided to recline, I felt compelled to ask him if he would rather just sit in my lap! Then my head phones wouldn't work so I couldn't watch the movie. I was hoping to just sit back and tune everything and everyone out with my ipod but apparently it was all out of power. The rage was palpable as I sat between Mum and L. But we made it.
Best airport security staff was definitely in Hawaii as they chanted: "Chug CHUG, CHUG" to little brother as he realized he couldn't go through the checkpoint with his full vitamin water. Then the guard said to me, "what we encourage drinking responsibly".
So many hi-lites and lo-lites that I can't quite wrap my head around all of them because my body is still adjusting to the major temperature swing -- honestly why do I live here.
Now I just need to coast through the next two days of work and get another two off.
Taking three weeks of December off is a goal that I am going to try and attain every year now.
Merry Christmas!
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Frankie says RELAX
Why can't I just relax?
I used to be able to go for a massage and just shut down for that half hour, 45 minutes or whole hour (however long I chose to pamper myself). My mind would wander with the soothing, yet un-intrusive music and I would be lulled into submission. Usually nearly falling asleep and feeling like it hadn't lasted long enough.
On Monday I went for another massage and noticed that my trend of not being able to relax unforunately is still on.
It was only 30 minutes and I layed there thinking how long is this going to take...shouldn't the 30 minutes be up yet, it feels like I've been laying here forever. I have a million things to do. That's when I thought to myself, why can't you just relax and take this 30 minutes for yourself. Where no one can get ahold of you, there's no work to do, no one has an urgent crisis or drama to rehash with me, nothing exists but me and person who is making my back feel better.
As much as I tried to just let it go, I couldn't.
Hopefully I'll be able to let go of everything when I board that plane next Tuesday. If sitting on a beach staring out at the ocean doesn't clear my mind and relax me then I'm pretty sure nothing will except for some sweet medication!
I used to be able to go for a massage and just shut down for that half hour, 45 minutes or whole hour (however long I chose to pamper myself). My mind would wander with the soothing, yet un-intrusive music and I would be lulled into submission. Usually nearly falling asleep and feeling like it hadn't lasted long enough.
On Monday I went for another massage and noticed that my trend of not being able to relax unforunately is still on.
It was only 30 minutes and I layed there thinking how long is this going to take...shouldn't the 30 minutes be up yet, it feels like I've been laying here forever. I have a million things to do. That's when I thought to myself, why can't you just relax and take this 30 minutes for yourself. Where no one can get ahold of you, there's no work to do, no one has an urgent crisis or drama to rehash with me, nothing exists but me and person who is making my back feel better.
As much as I tried to just let it go, I couldn't.
Hopefully I'll be able to let go of everything when I board that plane next Tuesday. If sitting on a beach staring out at the ocean doesn't clear my mind and relax me then I'm pretty sure nothing will except for some sweet medication!
Monday, December 3, 2007
Losing my mind, one day at a time.
It took me more than twenty minutes to find my car keys this afternoon.
Normally this wouldn't seem such a big deal but my apartment is the size of a shoe box and I really do think that I'm starting to lose my mind. I knew they were in here but finding them became a real puzzle to the point of my rage winning out and I nearly gave up on leaving my apartment.
The only problem then was to figure out how I was going to drive to the Bridge City tomorrow.
Because I gave up I found them. They were in the pillows of my couch. I still don't know how they got there.
Normally this wouldn't seem such a big deal but my apartment is the size of a shoe box and I really do think that I'm starting to lose my mind. I knew they were in here but finding them became a real puzzle to the point of my rage winning out and I nearly gave up on leaving my apartment.
The only problem then was to figure out how I was going to drive to the Bridge City tomorrow.
Because I gave up I found them. They were in the pillows of my couch. I still don't know how they got there.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Weekend Warriors
I'm still trying to dislodge that disgusting taste from my mouth.
Last night while playing rec basketball in the dying minutes of the fourt quarter, I was foulled. The chick who was guarding me took a swipe for the basketball and instead of going for the ball she ended up swiping at my face and somehow getting her hand in my mouth and actually cutting open the inside of my lip.
Now there was no immediate whistle so I simply held onto the ball turned my head and asked in a very polite manner, "Are you gonna call that?" Perhaps it was that and the look on my face (which according to my teammates was priceless) which finally caused him to blow his whistle.
No wonder I aired out my first foul shot as I was still wiping out my mouth feeling completely violated.
Women's rec league basketball will always make me laugh. It is these women who get together at least once a week to relive their glory days. Some of them play like it's a national championship when in reality it's a Tuesday night in some shitty second gym at a B-list high school. We don't even get to use the actual electronic scoreboard, instead we're back to flipping numbers and utilizing an oversize stop watch. I've never been apart of anything so dodgy.
Now if you'll excuse me I need to go wash my mouth out again.
Last night while playing rec basketball in the dying minutes of the fourt quarter, I was foulled. The chick who was guarding me took a swipe for the basketball and instead of going for the ball she ended up swiping at my face and somehow getting her hand in my mouth and actually cutting open the inside of my lip.
Now there was no immediate whistle so I simply held onto the ball turned my head and asked in a very polite manner, "Are you gonna call that?" Perhaps it was that and the look on my face (which according to my teammates was priceless) which finally caused him to blow his whistle.
No wonder I aired out my first foul shot as I was still wiping out my mouth feeling completely violated.
Women's rec league basketball will always make me laugh. It is these women who get together at least once a week to relive their glory days. Some of them play like it's a national championship when in reality it's a Tuesday night in some shitty second gym at a B-list high school. We don't even get to use the actual electronic scoreboard, instead we're back to flipping numbers and utilizing an oversize stop watch. I've never been apart of anything so dodgy.
Now if you'll excuse me I need to go wash my mouth out again.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Voiceless
Ever since I stopped working at the grocery store I've become such a lemon. It seems like I get sick at the drop of a hat and as a result I always seem to lose my voice.
Of course I don't have all those old people around me to build up my immune system and I'm not touching dirty money every day either. Instead I work too much and don't look after myself.
So going in to work yesterday with no voice proved to be an interesting experience especially when I was AD-ing our Championship Special. Nothing like trying to cue the talent with a voice that registered just above a whisper.
It's a good thing my anchor is very good at what he does and in some instances my job becomes very superficial. As long as he could hear me half the time we were safe. The show went fine, the right team won, and now the city/province won't stop celebrating until sometime next year.
Now if only I can get to drink out of the cup with the team I'll have a good year too!!! Thanks for the memories boys!
Of course I don't have all those old people around me to build up my immune system and I'm not touching dirty money every day either. Instead I work too much and don't look after myself.
So going in to work yesterday with no voice proved to be an interesting experience especially when I was AD-ing our Championship Special. Nothing like trying to cue the talent with a voice that registered just above a whisper.
It's a good thing my anchor is very good at what he does and in some instances my job becomes very superficial. As long as he could hear me half the time we were safe. The show went fine, the right team won, and now the city/province won't stop celebrating until sometime next year.
Now if only I can get to drink out of the cup with the team I'll have a good year too!!! Thanks for the memories boys!
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
I'm on a roll!
Apparently today is my day for pissing people off!
It started this morning with the internet pre-sale tickets I was desperately hoping to attain to see my FAVORITE band in the whole world, who just so happen to be gracing the Bridge City with a show one day after my birthday -- Fate....methinks so!
So I grasped my grubby little internet surfing hands onto four tickets on the floor -- excited, just a little bit!
Then I decided that I would look after my other friends and weasle my way into four more tickets. Only after I purchased the additional four tickets did I sit back and read the fine print that because of my greediness I could potentially lose ALL of my tickets!!! I was mortified and spent the rest of my morning either sitting on a phone call on hold or going to the box office in person and being told there wasn't much they could do for me.
But I admitted my mistake how hard would it be to simply cancel my second order, no harm no foul. I asked this question of the woman at the other end of the 1-800 number. Only to have her tell me that she couldn't do anything because she didn't have internet access......which led me to wonder, what sort of help line are you if all you have is a phone and no real answers.....but I digress.
Then I called Boss #2 and told him that Boss #1 wants me to work on Sunday. This pissed Boss #2 off but as I pointed out to him, it's a better opportunity for me and I've done Boss #2 plenty of favours previous to this, apparently he just has a short memory for these things.
The day is only half over.....I wonder who else I can piss off!
It started this morning with the internet pre-sale tickets I was desperately hoping to attain to see my FAVORITE band in the whole world, who just so happen to be gracing the Bridge City with a show one day after my birthday -- Fate....methinks so!
So I grasped my grubby little internet surfing hands onto four tickets on the floor -- excited, just a little bit!
Then I decided that I would look after my other friends and weasle my way into four more tickets. Only after I purchased the additional four tickets did I sit back and read the fine print that because of my greediness I could potentially lose ALL of my tickets!!! I was mortified and spent the rest of my morning either sitting on a phone call on hold or going to the box office in person and being told there wasn't much they could do for me.
But I admitted my mistake how hard would it be to simply cancel my second order, no harm no foul. I asked this question of the woman at the other end of the 1-800 number. Only to have her tell me that she couldn't do anything because she didn't have internet access......which led me to wonder, what sort of help line are you if all you have is a phone and no real answers.....but I digress.
Then I called Boss #2 and told him that Boss #1 wants me to work on Sunday. This pissed Boss #2 off but as I pointed out to him, it's a better opportunity for me and I've done Boss #2 plenty of favours previous to this, apparently he just has a short memory for these things.
The day is only half over.....I wonder who else I can piss off!
My Marine Part 2
Who would have thought that two months later I would still be sporadically corresponding with the boy with copious amounts of pornography?
Thankfully we haven't discussed his vast porn collection, or his desire to become a porn star since that one evening -- although every conversation ends with him requesting pictures of my lips.......
I assumed that after those initial conversations we'd really have nothing much more to talk about but he is a good distraction from the stupidity of my everyday life and a decent person to talk to.
I also find myself worried that he might be going back overseas. Too many discussions have happened between us about my inability to understand his desire to be over there, while I respect it, I just don't get it. We have come to the agreement that nothing he can say will EVER make me understand.
So I'll keep talking to him because at least this relationship can't hurt me -- and I'll keep hoping that he stays in New York and doesn't end up back overseas.
Thankfully we haven't discussed his vast porn collection, or his desire to become a porn star since that one evening -- although every conversation ends with him requesting pictures of my lips.......
I assumed that after those initial conversations we'd really have nothing much more to talk about but he is a good distraction from the stupidity of my everyday life and a decent person to talk to.
I also find myself worried that he might be going back overseas. Too many discussions have happened between us about my inability to understand his desire to be over there, while I respect it, I just don't get it. We have come to the agreement that nothing he can say will EVER make me understand.
So I'll keep talking to him because at least this relationship can't hurt me -- and I'll keep hoping that he stays in New York and doesn't end up back overseas.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Family Issues
I thought after the election wrapped up that things would go back to normal and I would spend a few days just sleeping.
Instead I'm battling a cold and finding myself busy and sinking fast. Darn football team making it to the finals. Don't get me wrong I'm super happy, excited, pumped -- whatever word you wish you to use, but mostly just for the head coach and some of the guys I know. They really deserve to win it all this year, now if only they would stop playing those damn pep rally songs!!!! (Still one week to go and I'm tired of them already!)
I did spend a little downtime last week in The Bridge City. Only to discover that there is indeed a reason why I haven't spoken to my oldest brother in 7 or 8 months -- because he's an asshat!
Anyone who can cut their family out of their life because their wife wants them to needs a swift kick in the ass. Finally after over a decade of dating, four years of marriage, and twin girls that are 14 months old (I haven't seen them since they were 6 months -- not even a picture!!) my mother is also coming to the conclusion that my brother is an asshat. Frankly that's how my and his falling out began; it was due to how he was treating my parents specifically my mother, who let's face it is just getting back onto the emotional stability path after losing her own mother and sister just months apart to cancer. So please deny her the privilege of seeing her first grandchildren grow up, especially when you only live three blocks from them. Classy move big brother, classy move.
Sometimes family is more hassle than it's worth, that said I wouldn't trade any of them ever (well except maybe big brother!)
Instead I'm battling a cold and finding myself busy and sinking fast. Darn football team making it to the finals. Don't get me wrong I'm super happy, excited, pumped -- whatever word you wish you to use, but mostly just for the head coach and some of the guys I know. They really deserve to win it all this year, now if only they would stop playing those damn pep rally songs!!!! (Still one week to go and I'm tired of them already!)
I did spend a little downtime last week in The Bridge City. Only to discover that there is indeed a reason why I haven't spoken to my oldest brother in 7 or 8 months -- because he's an asshat!
Anyone who can cut their family out of their life because their wife wants them to needs a swift kick in the ass. Finally after over a decade of dating, four years of marriage, and twin girls that are 14 months old (I haven't seen them since they were 6 months -- not even a picture!!) my mother is also coming to the conclusion that my brother is an asshat. Frankly that's how my and his falling out began; it was due to how he was treating my parents specifically my mother, who let's face it is just getting back onto the emotional stability path after losing her own mother and sister just months apart to cancer. So please deny her the privilege of seeing her first grandchildren grow up, especially when you only live three blocks from them. Classy move big brother, classy move.
Sometimes family is more hassle than it's worth, that said I wouldn't trade any of them ever (well except maybe big brother!)
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Best news I've had in a long time!
Friday was a very good day.
I spent some time with Peaches and his family only to be told and then to witness the fact that he can now stand (!!!) with assistance and has begun those baby steps towards walking!!! This is amazing news as next week will have been four months since his accident.
He told me Friday that his Christmas present to himself is going to be to walk out of the rehab centre, whether with a cane or a walker but he definitely wants to walk out.
I am also impressed with his family. They are amazing getting him to and from, in and out of his chair. Their strength is only rivalled by his own.
Way to go Peaches.
I spent some time with Peaches and his family only to be told and then to witness the fact that he can now stand (!!!) with assistance and has begun those baby steps towards walking!!! This is amazing news as next week will have been four months since his accident.
He told me Friday that his Christmas present to himself is going to be to walk out of the rehab centre, whether with a cane or a walker but he definitely wants to walk out.
I am also impressed with his family. They are amazing getting him to and from, in and out of his chair. Their strength is only rivalled by his own.
Way to go Peaches.
Burnt Out
I had so many funny, insightful things that passed through my feeble mind today but after another 14 hour day I just feel a little burnt out and therefore can only muster a few thoughts that seem to have stuck with me.
1) Why is it that the creepy Big Voice guy (that yes, I still shamelessly flirt with) constantly notices and inquires when I wear a ring on my left ring finger? Always concerned as to my relationship status.
2) Why did creepy Big Voice guy have to bring up my transgressions of the summer with The Drummer in front of all the network guys today? I don't think my face could have gotten any redder.
3) I'm excited for tomorrow and really just hoping for the best. Because it's been such a long week I'm too tired to really be worried about it and just want it to go well.
4) Why is it that on the final game that the Network is going to do is when I get my shot at National Sports? Oh well, at least I get a shot at it before it's all over!
Better get some sleep so that I can function in the cold tomorrow! Hopefully I won't be so damn tired!
1) Why is it that the creepy Big Voice guy (that yes, I still shamelessly flirt with) constantly notices and inquires when I wear a ring on my left ring finger? Always concerned as to my relationship status.
2) Why did creepy Big Voice guy have to bring up my transgressions of the summer with The Drummer in front of all the network guys today? I don't think my face could have gotten any redder.
3) I'm excited for tomorrow and really just hoping for the best. Because it's been such a long week I'm too tired to really be worried about it and just want it to go well.
4) Why is it that on the final game that the Network is going to do is when I get my shot at National Sports? Oh well, at least I get a shot at it before it's all over!
Better get some sleep so that I can function in the cold tomorrow! Hopefully I won't be so damn tired!
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Not the brightest kid!
Like a small child with a new toy, I think I over-did it.
After not having heat for a month and living in The Shoebox at a high of 61. I decided that I needed to fully indulge myself. So after weeks of sweaters, mittens, blankets, the occasional toque, and slippers -- I find myself sitting in a tank top and shorts and I'm still sweating. That's right I might have cranked my heat so much that overnight it got up to a balmy 85. Now I'm paying the price because it's going to be even harder to go outside what with that fresh blanket of snow on the ground!
Even though I've now had to open all of my windows!
What a rookie mistake!
I should have just enjoyed life at 68 degrees. Then it wouldn't have been so bad to spend time outdoors!
Who needs to the oven to toast marshmallows now?! I'll just my registers!
After not having heat for a month and living in The Shoebox at a high of 61. I decided that I needed to fully indulge myself. So after weeks of sweaters, mittens, blankets, the occasional toque, and slippers -- I find myself sitting in a tank top and shorts and I'm still sweating. That's right I might have cranked my heat so much that overnight it got up to a balmy 85. Now I'm paying the price because it's going to be even harder to go outside what with that fresh blanket of snow on the ground!
Even though I've now had to open all of my windows!
What a rookie mistake!
I should have just enjoyed life at 68 degrees. Then it wouldn't have been so bad to spend time outdoors!
Who needs to the oven to toast marshmallows now?! I'll just my registers!
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Stop the Presses
I HAVE HEAT!!!!!
FINALLY!!!
Now I've got to remember not to become complacent and still look for a new place to live!
FINALLY!!!
Now I've got to remember not to become complacent and still look for a new place to live!
Monday, November 5, 2007
Making it happen!
This week is one of crazy work hours, blame it on the upcoming election (two days and counting) and a home playoff game for our football team (the first in 19 years!) and well that adds up to a whole lot of television coverage!
That's some exciting TV and not only do I get to see it first hand I get to have a role in making it happen as well.
Even though we were just going through the motions and doing a brief rehearsal this evening, it was definitely exciting to see how it's all going to unfold. Yep I'm a bit of a nerd as I sat in the control room with my multiple feeds and listening to the director call the shots from the truck. I LOVE IT! The only thing that would be better is if I got to operate the jib (but I seriously don't have the hand-eye co-ordination to make that happen....especially not after I was messing around for the debate and then felt a little motion-sick thereafter!).
Tomorrow night is going to be a little more of the same, only adding in the hits from our remote locations and then we'll do one more practice Wednesday afternoon before we hit the air for the "Big Shoe" which will actually be carried coast to coast on the network!
Sometimes I really love my job!
That's some exciting TV and not only do I get to see it first hand I get to have a role in making it happen as well.
Even though we were just going through the motions and doing a brief rehearsal this evening, it was definitely exciting to see how it's all going to unfold. Yep I'm a bit of a nerd as I sat in the control room with my multiple feeds and listening to the director call the shots from the truck. I LOVE IT! The only thing that would be better is if I got to operate the jib (but I seriously don't have the hand-eye co-ordination to make that happen....especially not after I was messing around for the debate and then felt a little motion-sick thereafter!).
Tomorrow night is going to be a little more of the same, only adding in the hits from our remote locations and then we'll do one more practice Wednesday afternoon before we hit the air for the "Big Shoe" which will actually be carried coast to coast on the network!
Sometimes I really love my job!
shameless
You'd think I would learn my lesson about shameless flirting but apparently I haven't.
Now I've got The PR guy texting me and asking me out for drinks when I am in no way interested. I only flirt with him to pass the time while we wait for practice to be done. Is it wrong that I don't want to ruin this because of the possibility of free tickets in the future? It's not my fault, or is it?
Maybe I should cut my losses while I'm ahead and stop shamelessly flirting with Big Voice Guy too......
Now I've got The PR guy texting me and asking me out for drinks when I am in no way interested. I only flirt with him to pass the time while we wait for practice to be done. Is it wrong that I don't want to ruin this because of the possibility of free tickets in the future? It's not my fault, or is it?
Maybe I should cut my losses while I'm ahead and stop shamelessly flirting with Big Voice Guy too......
Thursday, November 1, 2007
One month later.....
Yep that's right, it's been a month and I'm still without heat. When I crawled down to my landlord's apartment this evening he told me that it would be at least another week -- funny isn't that what he told me three weeks ago?!?! Apparently I'm just going to have to continue to suck it up. Even though I've already burnt out one heater in the past month and his recommendation is still to run my stove.
Dissolvable stitches. Sounds like a good idea because I don't have to go back and get them removed but seriously having them fall out in my mouth is pretty gross.
I really can't wait for the election to be over so that I can go back to having a more "normal" life. But until then the overtime is going to make Hawaii a very fun trip.
I'm way too tired and cold to keep writing. It's time to curl up with a book and pass out.
Dissolvable stitches. Sounds like a good idea because I don't have to go back and get them removed but seriously having them fall out in my mouth is pretty gross.
I really can't wait for the election to be over so that I can go back to having a more "normal" life. But until then the overtime is going to make Hawaii a very fun trip.
I'm way too tired and cold to keep writing. It's time to curl up with a book and pass out.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Boo!
Scary thing I've learned this week.....life is a lot better when you're dealing with it on painkillers. I've been steadily drugged since the removal of my wisdom teeth last week and things that would have sent me into a rage or down a dark spiral of stress are being laughed off.
Perhaps it's not just the painkillers that are doing it for me, but a change in attitude about life after that bad news on Sunday. Once again I readjusted the ol' priorities and things are coming up rosy.
The best part of the week is watching people deal with the pretty bruise on my cheek and that look of concern and the dilemma of whether they should ask or not. The Co-worker felt sorry for me on the weekend (when the bruise was darker and I was still chipmunk-esque) and was going out of his way to be extra nice to me (which I appreciated) and rewarded him by telling random people -- like the football team -- that the bruise on my cheek was from him! (Yes, I am an asshole!) I thought this was hilarious, he didn't think it was quite as funny as I did.
So this morning I opted to try my day without painkillers. I lasted an hour after getting to work. Don't worry, I'm not getting addicted this is my last day to take them anyways -- I decided that I might as well enjoy the happy, stress-free feeling while it lasts!
oh yeah Happy Halloween!
Perhaps it's not just the painkillers that are doing it for me, but a change in attitude about life after that bad news on Sunday. Once again I readjusted the ol' priorities and things are coming up rosy.
The best part of the week is watching people deal with the pretty bruise on my cheek and that look of concern and the dilemma of whether they should ask or not. The Co-worker felt sorry for me on the weekend (when the bruise was darker and I was still chipmunk-esque) and was going out of his way to be extra nice to me (which I appreciated) and rewarded him by telling random people -- like the football team -- that the bruise on my cheek was from him! (Yes, I am an asshole!) I thought this was hilarious, he didn't think it was quite as funny as I did.
So this morning I opted to try my day without painkillers. I lasted an hour after getting to work. Don't worry, I'm not getting addicted this is my last day to take them anyways -- I decided that I might as well enjoy the happy, stress-free feeling while it lasts!
oh yeah Happy Halloween!
Monday, October 29, 2007
Another day...
Despite everything it turned into a good day.
I wanted to make a quick road trip to the Paris of the Prairies last night after work but hindsight is proving that I made the correct choice.
I was a little choked that I didn't get to play basketball today because of a fuck up double booking the gym (I really felt the need to take some aggro out on the court -- oh well c'est la vie). Instead I spent the afternoon with the football team and realized that when I quit this job, I'm going to miss those guys. They're way too much fun!
I have a lot of thoughts swimming right now and I know I'm not going to sleep (that Starbucks latte at 9 probably didn't help things!) but there's a ton of shit to do before tomorrow morning and sitting in front of the computer typing isn't allowing me to get any of it done!
Yiikes.
Can't wait 'til all this shit slows down and I can seriously think about my three month plan!
I wanted to make a quick road trip to the Paris of the Prairies last night after work but hindsight is proving that I made the correct choice.
I was a little choked that I didn't get to play basketball today because of a fuck up double booking the gym (I really felt the need to take some aggro out on the court -- oh well c'est la vie). Instead I spent the afternoon with the football team and realized that when I quit this job, I'm going to miss those guys. They're way too much fun!
I have a lot of thoughts swimming right now and I know I'm not going to sleep (that Starbucks latte at 9 probably didn't help things!) but there's a ton of shit to do before tomorrow morning and sitting in front of the computer typing isn't allowing me to get any of it done!
Yiikes.
Can't wait 'til all this shit slows down and I can seriously think about my three month plan!
Friday, October 26, 2007
Breakdown Day # 1369 (or something like that)
After yet another day of completely breaking down, curling into a ball and bawling my eyes out, I'm feeling oddly refreshed.
It's like I got it out of my system and the drugs are kicking back in, the swelling in my face has gone down and everything is ok.
I still want to beat that little kid that was in the car next to me last night who was laughing at my puffy chipmunk face, but I digress.
The kid was laughing at me as I was driving to the leisure centre for my first basketball practice and subsequently the first meeting with my new team. While they seem like a lovely bunch of women, with whom I'll probably have a lot in common with it was strange to be in that situation. I miss my old team. I played with most of those girls through high school and in the women's league in the years afterwards until I moved to the QC -- I even kept playing with them for the first year that I lived here!
Needless to say I miss them. I'm going to miss the ability to know where everyone is going to go on the floor and being able to read them. Oh well I'm just happy to be playing again.
But I think you're right....I think it's time to move. Now I just need to figure out how to accomplish that. I'm not one to do things impulsively when it comes to jobs and money, I need to have a plan. I'm giving myself three months to figure something out, that gives me just into the new year. I hope I can figure it out!
And in the mean time I'm sure I'll have a few more breakdown days along the way. Maybe my Mum is right and I do need to be medicated, but I just don't think I'd be as much fun!
It's like I got it out of my system and the drugs are kicking back in, the swelling in my face has gone down and everything is ok.
I still want to beat that little kid that was in the car next to me last night who was laughing at my puffy chipmunk face, but I digress.
The kid was laughing at me as I was driving to the leisure centre for my first basketball practice and subsequently the first meeting with my new team. While they seem like a lovely bunch of women, with whom I'll probably have a lot in common with it was strange to be in that situation. I miss my old team. I played with most of those girls through high school and in the women's league in the years afterwards until I moved to the QC -- I even kept playing with them for the first year that I lived here!
Needless to say I miss them. I'm going to miss the ability to know where everyone is going to go on the floor and being able to read them. Oh well I'm just happy to be playing again.
But I think you're right....I think it's time to move. Now I just need to figure out how to accomplish that. I'm not one to do things impulsively when it comes to jobs and money, I need to have a plan. I'm giving myself three months to figure something out, that gives me just into the new year. I hope I can figure it out!
And in the mean time I'm sure I'll have a few more breakdown days along the way. Maybe my Mum is right and I do need to be medicated, but I just don't think I'd be as much fun!
Thursday, October 25, 2007
The good, the bad and the bruised.
The good thing is I will never have to have another wisdom tooth extracted EVER again. Yay!
The other good is those drugs he gave me were fabulous, to the point where I don't remember much, except for the ceiling melting.
The bad is that I am so damn hungry and can't open my mouth far enough to chew anything -- the downside of having the final two teeth pulled on opposite sides and one top and one bottom!
The bruised is my chipmunk like face. But only one side of my face makes me look like a chipmunk. On the bright side my mother found my appearance extremely amusing the last few days. All I have to say is that it hurts to laugh.
The other good is those drugs he gave me were fabulous, to the point where I don't remember much, except for the ceiling melting.
The bad is that I am so damn hungry and can't open my mouth far enough to chew anything -- the downside of having the final two teeth pulled on opposite sides and one top and one bottom!
The bruised is my chipmunk like face. But only one side of my face makes me look like a chipmunk. On the bright side my mother found my appearance extremely amusing the last few days. All I have to say is that it hurts to laugh.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Shout Outs
To the people who've pissed me off or been kind to me:
-To the woman that had sent me an email saying that, "yes I could rent her condo" in Hawaii for ten nights, as long as I responded to her within 48 hours. Less than 24 hours after receiving the email, she told me she had already rented it to someone else. Thanks for that!
-To my landlord who still hasn't gotten the heat turned on in this building, I love living in an igloo. Maybe I should just move further north and save myself the hassle? Wait, why bother I'll just live in the Shoebox and live without heat!
-To the prick that works at the radio station. Where do you get off asking me yesterday in the locker room if "I'm enjoying the view". At least I had a purpose for being in there shooting post-game. You didn't even have a mic, what was your excuse? Oh you just like looking at naked men, good for you!
-To the kind gentleman who's going to tear out my remaining wisdom teeth on Wednesday, please be kind!
-To the lovely woman at Starbucks on Saturday morning, thanks for taking that extra special effort with my cinnamon dolce latte. Totally made my 14 hour day better!
-To the woman that had sent me an email saying that, "yes I could rent her condo" in Hawaii for ten nights, as long as I responded to her within 48 hours. Less than 24 hours after receiving the email, she told me she had already rented it to someone else. Thanks for that!
-To my landlord who still hasn't gotten the heat turned on in this building, I love living in an igloo. Maybe I should just move further north and save myself the hassle? Wait, why bother I'll just live in the Shoebox and live without heat!
-To the prick that works at the radio station. Where do you get off asking me yesterday in the locker room if "I'm enjoying the view". At least I had a purpose for being in there shooting post-game. You didn't even have a mic, what was your excuse? Oh you just like looking at naked men, good for you!
-To the kind gentleman who's going to tear out my remaining wisdom teeth on Wednesday, please be kind!
-To the lovely woman at Starbucks on Saturday morning, thanks for taking that extra special effort with my cinnamon dolce latte. Totally made my 14 hour day better!
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Name that smell
I know I need to move when I can literally make a game out of naming the different smells that emanate from this damn building.
Tonight as I walked in from work and a nice relaxing massage the smell once again assaulted my nostrils. The smell: dirty, wet gym socks.
Other times it has smelled like a dead, rotting body; bad curry; open sewage; and many other random yet horrific scents.
Definitely time to move. Although I wonder what tomorrow's smell will be!
Tonight as I walked in from work and a nice relaxing massage the smell once again assaulted my nostrils. The smell: dirty, wet gym socks.
Other times it has smelled like a dead, rotting body; bad curry; open sewage; and many other random yet horrific scents.
Definitely time to move. Although I wonder what tomorrow's smell will be!
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
I'm pretty when you're drunk.
I just finished reading an autobiography called Smashed. The story of a young woman's life of drinking from her first drinks at fifteen through the binge drinking of her college years.
I found it terribly intriguing because in some of her stories I saw myself. Drunken, unforgiving, and dangerously close to tipping over that edge. I realize now how truly lucky I am that nothing really bad ever happened to me and I put myself in a lot of compromising positions.
My early 20s were spent seeing how plastered I could get on any given day of the week. It didn't help that one of my girlfriends worked at what would become my favorite drinking establishment, if for no other reason than the staff knew me and my drink would be ready moments after walking in the door. There were a few scary nights and a lot of bad decisions were made because of that bar.
You realize your binge drinking is a problem when staying sober for 28 consecutive days seems like some sort of cruel and unusual torture. At 22 I did a self-imposed dry- out and somehow I survived it but it did nothing to curb the enthusiasm I poured into getting trashed after it was over.
The sad thing I realized while reading the book is now passing through my mid-20s, I'm still a binge drinker (my last two weekends in the Bridge City showed me that much!) The crazy thing is I know that I don't need to drink to have a good time but it sure does make that good time better, although sometimes it makes it a whole lot worse. At least I've gotten better about not getting myself into those compromising and dangerous positions.
The scariest day for me was the Blackout. I had gone to The Carpenter's to play in a slo-pitch tournament. The weather was miserable and we were the only team that paid the full fee so we drank the returned money in dollar beer. The last thing I remember is a tower of empty beer cans in front of me sitting in the beer tent. Then I'm waking up in someone's bed. After a few moments of deciphering the obnoxiously loud sound of Guns 'n Roses coming through the closed door and the faint light streaming through the window, I came to the conclusion I was in a basement, more specifically I was in The Carpenter's bedroom. Thankfully, I was by myself and my clothes were intact. The bucket next to my head indicated that the sour taste in my mouth and the soreness of my throat were most likely self-induced.
After glancing at the clock and seeing it was nearing 7:00, I began to panic. I called out for The Carpenter. When he stumbled into the room, asking me if I was ok, I asked if he could call my work for me and tell them I would be late for my shift that started at 8:30. He gets on the phone and calls my work, asking for Stan. Stan's not at work. I'm angry, confused and battling the worst hangover known to man. Stand has to be there he started at 6AM!! At this point The Carpenter started to laughing, "it's evening, it's nearly 7 PM". While I had assumed that I slept off my massive binge overnight it turns out I really just blacked out and literally lost 6 hours of my day.
I was still drunk into the late evening and had to wait to sober myself up to drive home. At least I made it to work on time the next day. I never could look The Carpenter's mum in the eye after she thought my vomitting sounded like I was dying. I used to laugh when I told this story and now I just think it is sad.
Drinking sure does make me a classy gal.
I found it terribly intriguing because in some of her stories I saw myself. Drunken, unforgiving, and dangerously close to tipping over that edge. I realize now how truly lucky I am that nothing really bad ever happened to me and I put myself in a lot of compromising positions.
My early 20s were spent seeing how plastered I could get on any given day of the week. It didn't help that one of my girlfriends worked at what would become my favorite drinking establishment, if for no other reason than the staff knew me and my drink would be ready moments after walking in the door. There were a few scary nights and a lot of bad decisions were made because of that bar.
You realize your binge drinking is a problem when staying sober for 28 consecutive days seems like some sort of cruel and unusual torture. At 22 I did a self-imposed dry- out and somehow I survived it but it did nothing to curb the enthusiasm I poured into getting trashed after it was over.
The sad thing I realized while reading the book is now passing through my mid-20s, I'm still a binge drinker (my last two weekends in the Bridge City showed me that much!) The crazy thing is I know that I don't need to drink to have a good time but it sure does make that good time better, although sometimes it makes it a whole lot worse. At least I've gotten better about not getting myself into those compromising and dangerous positions.
The scariest day for me was the Blackout. I had gone to The Carpenter's to play in a slo-pitch tournament. The weather was miserable and we were the only team that paid the full fee so we drank the returned money in dollar beer. The last thing I remember is a tower of empty beer cans in front of me sitting in the beer tent. Then I'm waking up in someone's bed. After a few moments of deciphering the obnoxiously loud sound of Guns 'n Roses coming through the closed door and the faint light streaming through the window, I came to the conclusion I was in a basement, more specifically I was in The Carpenter's bedroom. Thankfully, I was by myself and my clothes were intact. The bucket next to my head indicated that the sour taste in my mouth and the soreness of my throat were most likely self-induced.
After glancing at the clock and seeing it was nearing 7:00, I began to panic. I called out for The Carpenter. When he stumbled into the room, asking me if I was ok, I asked if he could call my work for me and tell them I would be late for my shift that started at 8:30. He gets on the phone and calls my work, asking for Stan. Stan's not at work. I'm angry, confused and battling the worst hangover known to man. Stand has to be there he started at 6AM!! At this point The Carpenter started to laughing, "it's evening, it's nearly 7 PM". While I had assumed that I slept off my massive binge overnight it turns out I really just blacked out and literally lost 6 hours of my day.
I was still drunk into the late evening and had to wait to sober myself up to drive home. At least I made it to work on time the next day. I never could look The Carpenter's mum in the eye after she thought my vomitting sounded like I was dying. I used to laugh when I told this story and now I just think it is sad.
Drinking sure does make me a classy gal.
Looking for a place to go
My brain totally feels like it's in a holding pattern (perhaps it's frozen....yes that's right my Shoebox still doesn't have heat! Can you say slum landlord?)
Although I'm sure by now my body has adjusted to the lack of heat because last night when I got home from work I didn't even notice.
Everything just feels very blah and level at the moment. Just to spice things up I contemplated stepping out in front of that UPS guy as I walked to work Tuesday morning, knowing full well he didn't see me. But decided against it because it wasn't fair to ruin his day! (No don't worry I'm not suicidal - I'd call it boredom.)
In the mean time I guess I have a holiday to plan so perhaps that will distract me from my boredom for 20 minutes.
As a side note: I sure did look cute on the noon news today with my cream coloured toque! Gotta love stepping into the competitions' shot!
Although I'm sure by now my body has adjusted to the lack of heat because last night when I got home from work I didn't even notice.
Everything just feels very blah and level at the moment. Just to spice things up I contemplated stepping out in front of that UPS guy as I walked to work Tuesday morning, knowing full well he didn't see me. But decided against it because it wasn't fair to ruin his day! (No don't worry I'm not suicidal - I'd call it boredom.)
In the mean time I guess I have a holiday to plan so perhaps that will distract me from my boredom for 20 minutes.
As a side note: I sure did look cute on the noon news today with my cream coloured toque! Gotta love stepping into the competitions' shot!
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Aloha
Not sure how this happened but I just booked three flights to Hawaii for December.
That's ridiculous!
But I can hardly wait to go lay on a beach and soak up plenty of sun!!
That's ridiculous!
But I can hardly wait to go lay on a beach and soak up plenty of sun!!
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Time for a change of scenery
I don't think I can live in The Shoebox much longer without causing myself some irreparable harm, be it physically, mentally and emotionally.
The Shoebox hasn't been bad. It has served the purpose for nearly three years; a roof over my head, a place to store my shit and a decent shower. There have been times where it's been a little dodgy. Like that summer that I had zero water pressure because the entire building was being serviced from a fire hydrant. Then there was the obnoxious neighbours that would ring my buzzer at three in the morning to have me let them in (they gave up when I stopped letting them in -- too bad it took me a few tries to figure that one out). Then of course there is the lack of heat I'm currently experiencing, then there was the non-working fridge when I got home from New York and had to replenish ALL of my food, days here and there without electricty, a crappy parking lot.....I could probably go on.
Looking at the list I'm realizing that maybe this place hasn't been as good (or even decent as I thought). In fact it's like I'm in an abusive relationship with my apartment. It takes advantage of me and I put up with it because it's what I know. It's within walking distance of work and is convenient to downtown. And it's not that BAD. Or at least that's what I tell myself.
I think it's the combination of The Shoebox being a shithole and my current lack of lust for the QC that has me contemplating this change of scenery. I need to move apartments so why not move cities while I'm at it?!
The only thing I'm worried about is my unhappiness is going to follow me wherever I move and I don't want to taint another city with the gloom I pack from here.
The Shoebox hasn't been bad. It has served the purpose for nearly three years; a roof over my head, a place to store my shit and a decent shower. There have been times where it's been a little dodgy. Like that summer that I had zero water pressure because the entire building was being serviced from a fire hydrant. Then there was the obnoxious neighbours that would ring my buzzer at three in the morning to have me let them in (they gave up when I stopped letting them in -- too bad it took me a few tries to figure that one out). Then of course there is the lack of heat I'm currently experiencing, then there was the non-working fridge when I got home from New York and had to replenish ALL of my food, days here and there without electricty, a crappy parking lot.....I could probably go on.
Looking at the list I'm realizing that maybe this place hasn't been as good (or even decent as I thought). In fact it's like I'm in an abusive relationship with my apartment. It takes advantage of me and I put up with it because it's what I know. It's within walking distance of work and is convenient to downtown. And it's not that BAD. Or at least that's what I tell myself.
I think it's the combination of The Shoebox being a shithole and my current lack of lust for the QC that has me contemplating this change of scenery. I need to move apartments so why not move cities while I'm at it?!
The only thing I'm worried about is my unhappiness is going to follow me wherever I move and I don't want to taint another city with the gloom I pack from here.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Everything has gone pear-shaped
Amazing how in less than a week life has taken on this Bizarro World quality that I hadn't envisioned.
Dealing with a relatives' crumbling marriage, drinking problems, living without heat, the start of an election and a bunch of other stuff that I can't even start to get into just makes me wonder if there is something out there that refuses to let me just be happy.
I still have to remind myself that there was some definite good this week, in Peaches leg movement. That takes me to a good place and puts things back in perspective.
Heading back to the QC tomorrow after my brief (two day) sojourn in the Bridge City. I know that I'm getting to that unhappy place again because of the amount of time I'm spending on the highway going back and forth. Perhaps it's time to get serious about looking for a job up in the City of Bridges and cut my losses down south.....I just don't know that moving back will make me happier.
Dealing with a relatives' crumbling marriage, drinking problems, living without heat, the start of an election and a bunch of other stuff that I can't even start to get into just makes me wonder if there is something out there that refuses to let me just be happy.
I still have to remind myself that there was some definite good this week, in Peaches leg movement. That takes me to a good place and puts things back in perspective.
Heading back to the QC tomorrow after my brief (two day) sojourn in the Bridge City. I know that I'm getting to that unhappy place again because of the amount of time I'm spending on the highway going back and forth. Perhaps it's time to get serious about looking for a job up in the City of Bridges and cut my losses down south.....I just don't know that moving back will make me happier.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
YAY, Peaches!
I stopped in to visit Peaches tonight.
YAY! He's got some movement in his right leg. This was a truly amazing sight as it has reached 80 days since the accident. It's also nice to see such a big change after I've stayed away for just over two weeks.
I realized that I only went to visit him once in September and I think that was a good thing for me to do for me. He seemed a little disappointed in me that I haven't been up in awhile and almost seemed a little aloof with me. C'est la vie. I've been sick and busy with my own life.
We went downstairs to the gym and watched them practice wheelchair rugby. That looks downright violent. I also don't understand the rationale in a bunch of people with neck injuries ramming chairs at top speed and potentially jarring their necks. But it did look like a lot of fun!
Being there also made me realize how stupid some things in my life have become. There are so many other things that are important or that would be worth my time than the things I've been stressing on lately.
So I'm just letting it all go. Life is too short and far too fragile. Thanks for reminding me of that Peaches!
YAY! He's got some movement in his right leg. This was a truly amazing sight as it has reached 80 days since the accident. It's also nice to see such a big change after I've stayed away for just over two weeks.
I realized that I only went to visit him once in September and I think that was a good thing for me to do for me. He seemed a little disappointed in me that I haven't been up in awhile and almost seemed a little aloof with me. C'est la vie. I've been sick and busy with my own life.
We went downstairs to the gym and watched them practice wheelchair rugby. That looks downright violent. I also don't understand the rationale in a bunch of people with neck injuries ramming chairs at top speed and potentially jarring their necks. But it did look like a lot of fun!
Being there also made me realize how stupid some things in my life have become. There are so many other things that are important or that would be worth my time than the things I've been stressing on lately.
So I'm just letting it all go. Life is too short and far too fragile. Thanks for reminding me of that Peaches!
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Shouldn't be like this....
It shouldn't be this hard, should it?
How is it that it still feels like I'm headed in the wrong direction but who's to know for sure when I don't know if I've ever been going in the right direction. One little falter in my step and all is thrown into doubt.
It feels like I'm spinning my wheels and not getting anywhere. Struggling to read the map for the right directions when I realize that all along it's not the map's fault that I don't know where I'm going but my shoes. Stupid shoes.
That's when I realize the fork in the road, isn't just a fork but a tree with way too many branches. And who's to know if you're going to travel down the right one or if you're going to stumble upon a giant knot.....
Once I stop spinning into the chaos and when I finally start spinning in the right direction, I think I will know. I think it will just feel right. My feet will know where to go, I'll just have to get rid of my shoes. Stupid shoes. After all it isn't meant to be this hard, is it?
How is it that it still feels like I'm headed in the wrong direction but who's to know for sure when I don't know if I've ever been going in the right direction. One little falter in my step and all is thrown into doubt.
It feels like I'm spinning my wheels and not getting anywhere. Struggling to read the map for the right directions when I realize that all along it's not the map's fault that I don't know where I'm going but my shoes. Stupid shoes.
That's when I realize the fork in the road, isn't just a fork but a tree with way too many branches. And who's to know if you're going to travel down the right one or if you're going to stumble upon a giant knot.....
Once I stop spinning into the chaos and when I finally start spinning in the right direction, I think I will know. I think it will just feel right. My feet will know where to go, I'll just have to get rid of my shoes. Stupid shoes. After all it isn't meant to be this hard, is it?
Monday, October 8, 2007
All that's missing is the snow!
Just a few more degrees and I would be able to see my breath. Damn it's cold, I think I'm going to get frostbite. Have I mentioned that this is in my apartment?
Apparently my landlord thinks heat is over-rated and basically told me to suck it up and just run my oven as a source of heat. Wow. Oh and no water as of tomorrow morning, ending when.....not too sure. Makes me wonder why I pay rent?!
Maybe I'll just sleep at work tonight.
Apparently my landlord thinks heat is over-rated and basically told me to suck it up and just run my oven as a source of heat. Wow. Oh and no water as of tomorrow morning, ending when.....not too sure. Makes me wonder why I pay rent?!
Maybe I'll just sleep at work tonight.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Work is less than fun lately.
The Inappropriate Boss strikes again.
I know that I'm old enough that I should speak up, especially considering that this has been going on for the past few months and it's bad enough that I feel uncomfortable at work. Unfortunately because of my lack of permanent status I am less than excited about speaking up. It's as simple as all that has to happen is for me to get scheduled less, if that happens, I'm fucked -- as working at the other place will hardly cover rent on The Shoebox.
So because I cannot speak up to my superiors yet, I've decided that if he can say inappropriate things to me in front of other co-workers then perhaps I can shame him into stopping -- the other good thing is I know I have at least two solid witnesses on my side for the one before the long weekend.
Here's hoping that the man has some sense of decency. I suppose if the public shaming doesn't work that is when I will have to take the next step and say something to management, and then probably start looking for a new job.
How does this shit still happen?
I know that I'm old enough that I should speak up, especially considering that this has been going on for the past few months and it's bad enough that I feel uncomfortable at work. Unfortunately because of my lack of permanent status I am less than excited about speaking up. It's as simple as all that has to happen is for me to get scheduled less, if that happens, I'm fucked -- as working at the other place will hardly cover rent on The Shoebox.
So because I cannot speak up to my superiors yet, I've decided that if he can say inappropriate things to me in front of other co-workers then perhaps I can shame him into stopping -- the other good thing is I know I have at least two solid witnesses on my side for the one before the long weekend.
Here's hoping that the man has some sense of decency. I suppose if the public shaming doesn't work that is when I will have to take the next step and say something to management, and then probably start looking for a new job.
How does this shit still happen?
Monday, October 1, 2007
Bush league
To the guy who proposed to his girlfriend at the acoustic concert I was at on Thursday night, just a word of advice.....
When you go to the trouble of contacting the musician, getting him to agree to letting you get up on his stage and propose to your girlfriend, you also went to the trouble of writing out your proposal and clearly memorizing it -- BUY A RING!!!
Don't propose to a girl on stage in front of a crowd empty handed. That's just bush league. You've prepared for everything else why wouldn't you go that last step?!
If the girl was smart she would have told you no, on principle.
When you go to the trouble of contacting the musician, getting him to agree to letting you get up on his stage and propose to your girlfriend, you also went to the trouble of writing out your proposal and clearly memorizing it -- BUY A RING!!!
Don't propose to a girl on stage in front of a crowd empty handed. That's just bush league. You've prepared for everything else why wouldn't you go that last step?!
If the girl was smart she would have told you no, on principle.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Moving On....
Thank you New York. You did for me what London was meant to do, two years ago. I would say it's a shame that it's two years late, but I guess I learned from those two years.
Upon returning from my trip I came to a startling realization. While I love Peaches, I am no longer IN love with him. It was like a tremendous weight lifted from my shoulders and I could breathe deeply again.
Don't get me wrong I don't want to give the impression that I've moved on from him because of his accident. If anything I thought his accident would surely render me even more hopeless about him. Although his accident did help to clarify some things for me. Like for instance: he's not IN love with me. While I'm sure I've known this for the past two two and a half years to really accept it helped me in a very big way.
I feel so good about it that I want to tell everyone. Even though no one (except a few VERY close friends knew how I felt) really knew what was going on. I must say that it is a relief to be able to go and visit him and not have that awkward feeling when his family or girlfriend show up.
So I'm not cutting him out of my life, in fact this is a good thing because I can move in a whole new positive direction with him. We are good friends, he'll always be important to me. Except now I can probably tell him I love him, and not have to worry about turning to stone!
Which makes it even more fabulous that I've met some decent boys in the last little while; who have some real potential..... Can't wait to see what happens there. But I'm definitely in NO rush!
(For those interested Peaches' recovery is still progressing, albeit slow and steady. More upper body movement; he's pushing his own wheelchair! Still waiting for some movement in his legs other than the spasms, but he does have feeling in them -- well at least he could feel me adjusting his legs and feet that one night. His spirit remains as positive as ever and I do find him truly inspiring. If you've got a little room in your prayers I'd appreciate the positive energy for him!)
Upon returning from my trip I came to a startling realization. While I love Peaches, I am no longer IN love with him. It was like a tremendous weight lifted from my shoulders and I could breathe deeply again.
Don't get me wrong I don't want to give the impression that I've moved on from him because of his accident. If anything I thought his accident would surely render me even more hopeless about him. Although his accident did help to clarify some things for me. Like for instance: he's not IN love with me. While I'm sure I've known this for the past two two and a half years to really accept it helped me in a very big way.
I feel so good about it that I want to tell everyone. Even though no one (except a few VERY close friends knew how I felt) really knew what was going on. I must say that it is a relief to be able to go and visit him and not have that awkward feeling when his family or girlfriend show up.
So I'm not cutting him out of my life, in fact this is a good thing because I can move in a whole new positive direction with him. We are good friends, he'll always be important to me. Except now I can probably tell him I love him, and not have to worry about turning to stone!
Which makes it even more fabulous that I've met some decent boys in the last little while; who have some real potential..... Can't wait to see what happens there. But I'm definitely in NO rush!
(For those interested Peaches' recovery is still progressing, albeit slow and steady. More upper body movement; he's pushing his own wheelchair! Still waiting for some movement in his legs other than the spasms, but he does have feeling in them -- well at least he could feel me adjusting his legs and feet that one night. His spirit remains as positive as ever and I do find him truly inspiring. If you've got a little room in your prayers I'd appreciate the positive energy for him!)
Thursday, September 27, 2007
I'm still tired
Note to self: Next time you're leaving on a day trip to another province with your mother -- don't stay up talking to The Marine until 2:30 only to promptly awake at 5:30 and get on the highway. (It sorta makes for a long day).
It was good to spend a day with my mother, who for some reason seemed to think that I hadn't spent enough money during those ten days in New York that I needed to go on a shopping trip with her (on the bright side she did buy me a few things -- don't judge it was just stuff for my Shoebox!)
But the trip once again reminded me of the brilliance and evil that is Ikea. Don't get me wrong I love that I picked up oodles of frames for my pictures for next to nothing, but after awhile some of that furniture all starts to look the same. Then of course I think I hurt my back lifting three chests of drawers (unassembled of course), and those people weren't very friendly about loading those damn cabinets into the back of our truck. There is nothing I hate more than shitty customer service. Don't worry they're not on the shitlist, at least not yet. FedEx and Stubhub still hold the top spots there.
Needless to say, the quiet week at home I was supposed to have sitting in my parents basement watching the Heroes DVD boxset has left me just as tired if I had stayed in the QC and worked all week. Oh well, at least I got my laundry done.
It was good to spend a day with my mother, who for some reason seemed to think that I hadn't spent enough money during those ten days in New York that I needed to go on a shopping trip with her (on the bright side she did buy me a few things -- don't judge it was just stuff for my Shoebox!)
But the trip once again reminded me of the brilliance and evil that is Ikea. Don't get me wrong I love that I picked up oodles of frames for my pictures for next to nothing, but after awhile some of that furniture all starts to look the same. Then of course I think I hurt my back lifting three chests of drawers (unassembled of course), and those people weren't very friendly about loading those damn cabinets into the back of our truck. There is nothing I hate more than shitty customer service. Don't worry they're not on the shitlist, at least not yet. FedEx and Stubhub still hold the top spots there.
Needless to say, the quiet week at home I was supposed to have sitting in my parents basement watching the Heroes DVD boxset has left me just as tired if I had stayed in the QC and worked all week. Oh well, at least I got my laundry done.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Addicts Anonymous
I'm not sure why a sports guy should look that angry all the time.....maybe it's just his eyebrows. Who knows I have other things to think about.
For example: who needs 550GB of porn on their computer? I mean on the one hand I have to slightly respect the fact that he downloaded some of it out of an entrepreneurial motivation. Nothing like making money off of other peoples' addictions. But then too bad when it becomes your own addiction as well.
Seriously, does any woman find that an attractive quality in a man? Don't get me wrong I'm not such a prude that I think no man ever looks at porn, but there is looking and then there is a severe addiction and the dillusion that you should be in porn.
It's great to have goals and dreams, but come on.
I think I'll go back to wondering why the sports guy looks so angry and watching my football highlights. It won't get me in nearly as much trouble.
For example: who needs 550GB of porn on their computer? I mean on the one hand I have to slightly respect the fact that he downloaded some of it out of an entrepreneurial motivation. Nothing like making money off of other peoples' addictions. But then too bad when it becomes your own addiction as well.
Seriously, does any woman find that an attractive quality in a man? Don't get me wrong I'm not such a prude that I think no man ever looks at porn, but there is looking and then there is a severe addiction and the dillusion that you should be in porn.
It's great to have goals and dreams, but come on.
I think I'll go back to wondering why the sports guy looks so angry and watching my football highlights. It won't get me in nearly as much trouble.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Saturday, September 22, 2007
au natural
The difference between Canadian boys and American boys is one of perspective.
Canadian Boy: "your lips look like pillows" (yes, a boy has actually said that to me -- and no it definitely didn't get him anywhere!)
American Boy: "are your lips natural?"
Me: laughing... "yes"
American Boy: "Really!? We thought for sure that you had to be getting those injections."
Funny how most Canadian boys would never entertain the idea of altering ones appearance other than a boob job, while American boys seem to assume that first before believing that's just how you were born.
Canadian Boy: "your lips look like pillows" (yes, a boy has actually said that to me -- and no it definitely didn't get him anywhere!)
American Boy: "are your lips natural?"
Me: laughing... "yes"
American Boy: "Really!? We thought for sure that you had to be getting those injections."
Funny how most Canadian boys would never entertain the idea of altering ones appearance other than a boob job, while American boys seem to assume that first before believing that's just how you were born.
Friday, September 21, 2007
My Marine
It seems that sometimes it would be best to leave those boys you meet on vacation back there. I mean there is a reason that it's light, fun and easy -- you're on vacation and you just don't care. For some reason I opted against this course of action and decided to see if it carried into "real life".
I started to question this last night after talking to my Marine. My initial reaction was "ewww he's dumb" (I had this thought after he asked me what the word loathe meant). And because he has a less than attractive job.
But I decided not to be so damn superficial and persevered through it and discovered that he's actually kind of sweet and of course the Iraq discussion left me literally speechless and oozing with respect for him.
Seriously, I haven't stopped thinking about it and now some of those pictures are seared into my brain. It's a lot different looking at pictures and being able to remove yourself because there is no connection, but now knowing someone who's been changes all that. Not to mention I kept thinking during our conversation (but didn't say -- you've killed people!). Very surreal. I think I'll keep talking to him.
I started to question this last night after talking to my Marine. My initial reaction was "ewww he's dumb" (I had this thought after he asked me what the word loathe meant). And because he has a less than attractive job.
But I decided not to be so damn superficial and persevered through it and discovered that he's actually kind of sweet and of course the Iraq discussion left me literally speechless and oozing with respect for him.
Seriously, I haven't stopped thinking about it and now some of those pictures are seared into my brain. It's a lot different looking at pictures and being able to remove yourself because there is no connection, but now knowing someone who's been changes all that. Not to mention I kept thinking during our conversation (but didn't say -- you've killed people!). Very surreal. I think I'll keep talking to him.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Feeling restless.
It smells like fall.
I'm not sure how I missed it but suddenly all the leaves have changed and a scattered pile of them stood at my feet this morning as I made my way out of The Shoebox and off to work.
Once again the only thing that could satiate me was a quick run to Starbuckys to ease the pain and restlessness of being back.
Hard to believe that just a week ago I was kicking back and soaking up some sun in Sheep Meadow in Central Park. Now my tan has faded, I've gone searching for my cute little fall sweaters to be pulled out and have hastily stashed many of my summer clothes.
The transition of seasons usually makes me happy and feels good but for some reason this year it seems to be depressing me. I'm not looking forward to 8 months of winter (except of course for that week in March that I'll go snowboarding).
Normally when I go on trips it makes me appreciate the little things about life at home. This time that doesn't seem to have happened. In fact I miss the hustle and bustle of NYC, the crazy people you'd encounter on the subway, a newsstand on every corner, breakfast at Zabars, the different smells every ten feet and just walking and walking for miles on end losing yourself in the crowd. I can't wait to go back.
I'm not sure how I missed it but suddenly all the leaves have changed and a scattered pile of them stood at my feet this morning as I made my way out of The Shoebox and off to work.
Once again the only thing that could satiate me was a quick run to Starbuckys to ease the pain and restlessness of being back.
Hard to believe that just a week ago I was kicking back and soaking up some sun in Sheep Meadow in Central Park. Now my tan has faded, I've gone searching for my cute little fall sweaters to be pulled out and have hastily stashed many of my summer clothes.
The transition of seasons usually makes me happy and feels good but for some reason this year it seems to be depressing me. I'm not looking forward to 8 months of winter (except of course for that week in March that I'll go snowboarding).
Normally when I go on trips it makes me appreciate the little things about life at home. This time that doesn't seem to have happened. In fact I miss the hustle and bustle of NYC, the crazy people you'd encounter on the subway, a newsstand on every corner, breakfast at Zabars, the different smells every ten feet and just walking and walking for miles on end losing yourself in the crowd. I can't wait to go back.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
The mania has subsided
So I suppose I am now officially home, as I returned to the QC yeseterday. I would definitely have to admit that it was not a happy return. The drive seemed to take longer than ever and then to top it all off when I pulled into my parking lot, I was even less impressed. They decided to tear out the electrical posts and install new ones which isn't a bad thing but the trench they needed to dig runs right under my space which is lovely. They better pave over that shit before it snows.
Not so bad I trudge my bags up the three flights of steps (thankful that my mother had made the trip with me) only to discover that sometime in the ten fabulous days I spent in Manhattan my fridge had stopped working. Just what everyone wants to come home to. On the bright side my fridge got a well deserved cleaning and I got to drop some coin to restock my fridge.
Mental note: no more chicken will be stored in my freezer in case that happens again.
I am definitely missing my Zabars frozen yogurt this morning, while I watch the Giants get their butts kicked by Brett and the boy from the QC.
Time to go to work and bring myself crashing back to reality. hooray.
Not so bad I trudge my bags up the three flights of steps (thankful that my mother had made the trip with me) only to discover that sometime in the ten fabulous days I spent in Manhattan my fridge had stopped working. Just what everyone wants to come home to. On the bright side my fridge got a well deserved cleaning and I got to drop some coin to restock my fridge.
Mental note: no more chicken will be stored in my freezer in case that happens again.
I am definitely missing my Zabars frozen yogurt this morning, while I watch the Giants get their butts kicked by Brett and the boy from the QC.
Time to go to work and bring myself crashing back to reality. hooray.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Home sweet home
After a lengthy day of travel it was supposed to be a relief to arrive at the home airport last night but all I felt was the longing to hop back on a plane and jet off to somewhere -- at the very least warmer!
Nothing like sunning in Central Park one day and preparing for frost the next. Stupid country!
Oh well time to return to a schedule of somewhat normality if only to plan the next trip.
Hawaii here we come!
Nothing like sunning in Central Park one day and preparing for frost the next. Stupid country!
Oh well time to return to a schedule of somewhat normality if only to plan the next trip.
Hawaii here we come!
Monday, September 3, 2007
Gone going....
I was surrounded by mania today without the slightest desire to join in. As a matter of fact the mania was what set off yet another bad mood (well that coupled with a complete lack of sleep, workaholism, and working from 9 in the morning until nearly midnight -- I love my life, I love my life, I love my life -- nope still not working!)
I mean, sure I might have had a smidgeon of fun as I got to be at the stadium early, photographing some behind the scenes action and then "stalking" the players entrance in the vain hope that some of the players would show up early (lucky for me, "my" boy did indeed make an early appearance -- also note that when "my" boy noticed I was filming him, his chest puffed ever so slightly and that sexy little grin was definitely present *sigh*.)
But working more than fourteen hours two days before leaving on a ten day trip of manic/depressive proportions is not my idea of fun.
Although I am intrigued to see the levels of craziness that the three of us will produce when in close quarters and a foreign city for that many days. May stupidity and hilarity ensue to wipe away all of our collective unhappiness!
So if you don't hear from me, don't be alarmed. I'm out searching for happiness....wish me luck!
I mean, sure I might have had a smidgeon of fun as I got to be at the stadium early, photographing some behind the scenes action and then "stalking" the players entrance in the vain hope that some of the players would show up early (lucky for me, "my" boy did indeed make an early appearance -- also note that when "my" boy noticed I was filming him, his chest puffed ever so slightly and that sexy little grin was definitely present *sigh*.)
But working more than fourteen hours two days before leaving on a ten day trip of manic/depressive proportions is not my idea of fun.
Although I am intrigued to see the levels of craziness that the three of us will produce when in close quarters and a foreign city for that many days. May stupidity and hilarity ensue to wipe away all of our collective unhappiness!
So if you don't hear from me, don't be alarmed. I'm out searching for happiness....wish me luck!
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Shadows
I feel like I lost track of myself......somewhere between the non-stop working, Peaches' accident, trying to deal, and just generally existing has somehow made me lose....me.
It came crashing full force today after I finished most of my errands that caused me to finally take a day off. At a certain point I realized I didn't know what to do with myself because normally I would be at work. I had meant to go and visit Peaches today but something stopped me from going. Especially when I remembered that he got possession of his house this weekend and that under different circumstances I would be moving soon (maybe).
That of course lead me to wonder about why I keep making the wrong choices. While I do sometimes learn from my mistakes that doesn't seem to be the case with Peaches. Granted these are extraordinary circumstances that we find ourselves in but as I sat at the rehab centre with him the other night, I couldn't help but think that if the situation were reversed and I was the one laying in that bed, that he would have done his one obligatory visit and that would have been the last I saw of him. Instead I find myself wearing his bracelet, spending evenings visiting him and staying into the wee hours of the morning to keep him company, give him his drugs, adjusting his feet and legs, all in the shadow of his girlfriend. Don't I feel stupid.
But until he gets better my presence will be there for him, even if he doesn't really notice.
Maybe I'll find the rest of me hiding there in those shadows.
It came crashing full force today after I finished most of my errands that caused me to finally take a day off. At a certain point I realized I didn't know what to do with myself because normally I would be at work. I had meant to go and visit Peaches today but something stopped me from going. Especially when I remembered that he got possession of his house this weekend and that under different circumstances I would be moving soon (maybe).
That of course lead me to wonder about why I keep making the wrong choices. While I do sometimes learn from my mistakes that doesn't seem to be the case with Peaches. Granted these are extraordinary circumstances that we find ourselves in but as I sat at the rehab centre with him the other night, I couldn't help but think that if the situation were reversed and I was the one laying in that bed, that he would have done his one obligatory visit and that would have been the last I saw of him. Instead I find myself wearing his bracelet, spending evenings visiting him and staying into the wee hours of the morning to keep him company, give him his drugs, adjusting his feet and legs, all in the shadow of his girlfriend. Don't I feel stupid.
But until he gets better my presence will be there for him, even if he doesn't really notice.
Maybe I'll find the rest of me hiding there in those shadows.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Look out baby, here we come!
Here it is the unofficial trip itinerary for NYC!
September 4th:
Arrive New York and get key to the city.
Check out Times Square.
Try and trade key to city for fake Rolex (likely not to succeed).
September 5th:
Sing national anthem (without cue cards -- badly buthering the words) and throw out first pitch at Yankees/Mariners game.
In the seventh inning run on field.
Get arrested for running on the field.
September 6th:
Donna's Birthday.
Get bailed out of jail and promptly visit Central Park.
Meet locals, and get mugged.
Go to Hello Deli and get sandwich with the spare change found in my pocket.
September 7th:
Try and be in audience at Peoples Court.
Buy fake Rolex.
Get arrested for buying fake Rolex.
September 8th:
Get bailed out of jail (again).
Visit Empire State Building.
Drop a penny.
Get arrested for vandalism.
September 9th:
Get bailed out of jail (yet again).
Stand outside the Jets/Patriots game cursing FedEx and wishing I was there.
See Letterman play, "Name that cut of meet".
September 10th:
Visit United Nations.
Pose as Canadian Delegate and decalre war on North Dakota.
Get arrested (again).
September 11th:
Get bailed out.
Go to Ground Zero.
Feel humbled.
September 12th:
Go to Broadway play: Mary Poppins.
Get thrown out for yelling "Where's Julie?" repeatedly.
September 13th:
Go to jail to say goodby to all of my friends.
Miss my flight.
Hitch hike home.
September 4th:
Arrive New York and get key to the city.
Check out Times Square.
Try and trade key to city for fake Rolex (likely not to succeed).
September 5th:
Sing national anthem (without cue cards -- badly buthering the words) and throw out first pitch at Yankees/Mariners game.
In the seventh inning run on field.
Get arrested for running on the field.
September 6th:
Donna's Birthday.
Get bailed out of jail and promptly visit Central Park.
Meet locals, and get mugged.
Go to Hello Deli and get sandwich with the spare change found in my pocket.
September 7th:
Try and be in audience at Peoples Court.
Buy fake Rolex.
Get arrested for buying fake Rolex.
September 8th:
Get bailed out of jail (again).
Visit Empire State Building.
Drop a penny.
Get arrested for vandalism.
September 9th:
Get bailed out of jail (yet again).
Stand outside the Jets/Patriots game cursing FedEx and wishing I was there.
See Letterman play, "Name that cut of meet".
September 10th:
Visit United Nations.
Pose as Canadian Delegate and decalre war on North Dakota.
Get arrested (again).
September 11th:
Get bailed out.
Go to Ground Zero.
Feel humbled.
September 12th:
Go to Broadway play: Mary Poppins.
Get thrown out for yelling "Where's Julie?" repeatedly.
September 13th:
Go to jail to say goodby to all of my friends.
Miss my flight.
Hitch hike home.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
insomnia
Not sure what's going on with me for the last little while but sleep is nearly impossible.
Normally a little reading will help rest my mind and allow me to fall asleep and when that fails laying on my couch listening to the tv usually does the trick, but I seem to be at a loss.
I'm sure it doesn't help that I am not doing myself any favours by neglecting my diet. I just realized that all I had today was a cup of tea, a cup of coffee and a granola snack at lunch. Probably not the best idea when I just got home from my day.
Oh well at least I've got some stuff that I can do to fill all this extra time I seem to have because I'm not sleeping.
Normally a little reading will help rest my mind and allow me to fall asleep and when that fails laying on my couch listening to the tv usually does the trick, but I seem to be at a loss.
I'm sure it doesn't help that I am not doing myself any favours by neglecting my diet. I just realized that all I had today was a cup of tea, a cup of coffee and a granola snack at lunch. Probably not the best idea when I just got home from my day.
Oh well at least I've got some stuff that I can do to fill all this extra time I seem to have because I'm not sleeping.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Customer Service at it's finest
Half a fucking hour before I actually got someone on the damn phone who could be of some fucking assistance.
First of all I kept phoning through using the prompts, it would ring and ring and ring and then just cut off.
So I went through sales. I got some poor unsuspecting soul, tore him a new asshole and then he was only too happy to transfer me to customer service.
Upon being transferred my call was finally put into the queue. Great. Progress. The entertaining part was I got to listen to a one sided conversation of a customer service rep while I waited on hold (apparently they've been bought out by ebay and they take 15% of the selling price of the ticket!).
Finally after much swearing, and rage filled pounding on my keyboard (mixed with several moments of wanting to bludgeon someone with my phone!) Richard comes on the line.
Nice chap.
After several rage fueled minutes of telling him what shitty customer service I thought they had, I demanded to know what the hell was going on with my tickets.
In short he's going to call me back on Friday after talking to the seller.
So I really didn't get much further ahead than before I spent those 45 minutes on the phone.
But yelling at someone sure did make me feel better, albeit temporarily.
First of all I kept phoning through using the prompts, it would ring and ring and ring and then just cut off.
So I went through sales. I got some poor unsuspecting soul, tore him a new asshole and then he was only too happy to transfer me to customer service.
Upon being transferred my call was finally put into the queue. Great. Progress. The entertaining part was I got to listen to a one sided conversation of a customer service rep while I waited on hold (apparently they've been bought out by ebay and they take 15% of the selling price of the ticket!).
Finally after much swearing, and rage filled pounding on my keyboard (mixed with several moments of wanting to bludgeon someone with my phone!) Richard comes on the line.
Nice chap.
After several rage fueled minutes of telling him what shitty customer service I thought they had, I demanded to know what the hell was going on with my tickets.
In short he's going to call me back on Friday after talking to the seller.
So I really didn't get much further ahead than before I spent those 45 minutes on the phone.
But yelling at someone sure did make me feel better, albeit temporarily.
6AM phone calls
Nothing good can ever come out of a phone ringing before 6am.
It's either bad news, work, or bad news.
That's because most reasonable people wait to call until a decent hour. Normally the only person I answer the phone for before 7 is my mother.
Yesterday after a short sleep on the couch and dreaming of Mr. Miyagi teaching me the drum technique (I may have fallen asleep watching Karate Kid II) I was startled awake by a foreign sound. I couldn't for the life of me understand what the ringing sound was.....oh right my phone!
I let it go to my machine and was surprised that it was my friend Turkey, whom I haven't heard from in months, telling me that she had some big news. Her inflection was neither excited nor depressed and so I lay there on my couch trying to decide what the news was....I decided it was one of three things: she was pregnant, she was getting married or someone was dying. I hoped it wasn't the last one.
She called again, this time to my mobile and as I grumbled out a hello, she brightly proclaims "I'm getting married!"
My reaction wasn't the most flattering for either of us so I will refrain from reprinting it. But if you want people to be able to give you a bright sunny reaction, here's a little tip: Don't call them at 6am!
I called her back later in the day to tell her congratulations as my early morning brain didn't think of it!
It's either bad news, work, or bad news.
That's because most reasonable people wait to call until a decent hour. Normally the only person I answer the phone for before 7 is my mother.
Yesterday after a short sleep on the couch and dreaming of Mr. Miyagi teaching me the drum technique (I may have fallen asleep watching Karate Kid II) I was startled awake by a foreign sound. I couldn't for the life of me understand what the ringing sound was.....oh right my phone!
I let it go to my machine and was surprised that it was my friend Turkey, whom I haven't heard from in months, telling me that she had some big news. Her inflection was neither excited nor depressed and so I lay there on my couch trying to decide what the news was....I decided it was one of three things: she was pregnant, she was getting married or someone was dying. I hoped it wasn't the last one.
She called again, this time to my mobile and as I grumbled out a hello, she brightly proclaims "I'm getting married!"
My reaction wasn't the most flattering for either of us so I will refrain from reprinting it. But if you want people to be able to give you a bright sunny reaction, here's a little tip: Don't call them at 6am!
I called her back later in the day to tell her congratulations as my early morning brain didn't think of it!
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Comfortably crazy
Perhaps I have a problem. Whenever I'm feeling a little low and in need of a quick pick me up, I wander into my bedroom and gaze lovingly into my closet and find a cute pair of heels.
Is it strange then that putting on a pair of cute shoes and wandering around my shoebox of an apartment will give me an instant lift in mood?
I can't wait for New York and doing some shoe shopping.
Is it strange then that putting on a pair of cute shoes and wandering around my shoebox of an apartment will give me an instant lift in mood?
I can't wait for New York and doing some shoe shopping.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Dodging land mines
Last night was the benefit for Peaches and I must say, that is the best I've seen him looking in the past month. While he did appear a little tired but he seemed thrilled to be out and surrounded by people who love him.
Of course several of those people that love him were ex-girlfriends. It was like every direction I turned I had to step lively because an ex-girlfriend was lurking around every corner. Just when I thought I got away from one, then she would reappear before me again. Another would appear in the other's wake. I did my best to smile politely and give a nod or quick hello, as I passed but that will only get you so far. You'd think in a room full of 400 plus people you would be able to find a few safety zones. Not one. Standing anywhere near him was basically being right in the middle of the suck. Your safest bet was to find a spot, (preferably a corner so your back wouldn't be exposed and fortify yourself with many many many glasses of wine) and not move an inch for fear of coming into contact be it intentional or accidentally with one of these land mines.
Somehow I managed to survive. Only emerging today with some minor emotional scarring and a bit of hangover from all that fortifying.
Of course several of those people that love him were ex-girlfriends. It was like every direction I turned I had to step lively because an ex-girlfriend was lurking around every corner. Just when I thought I got away from one, then she would reappear before me again. Another would appear in the other's wake. I did my best to smile politely and give a nod or quick hello, as I passed but that will only get you so far. You'd think in a room full of 400 plus people you would be able to find a few safety zones. Not one. Standing anywhere near him was basically being right in the middle of the suck. Your safest bet was to find a spot, (preferably a corner so your back wouldn't be exposed and fortify yourself with many many many glasses of wine) and not move an inch for fear of coming into contact be it intentional or accidentally with one of these land mines.
Somehow I managed to survive. Only emerging today with some minor emotional scarring and a bit of hangover from all that fortifying.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
The hits just keep on coming....
Poor kid. Not only is he paralyzed but now he has c. difficile.
That sucks.
And as we learned when my Mum had it, I do not look good in the yellow quarantine gown! And the smell of the gloves is disgusting. But c'est la vie.
Here's hoping the drugs kick in soon and he gets better.
That sucks.
And as we learned when my Mum had it, I do not look good in the yellow quarantine gown! And the smell of the gloves is disgusting. But c'est la vie.
Here's hoping the drugs kick in soon and he gets better.
Monday, August 20, 2007
No cubicles for me!
"A bad day in television is still better than a good day in a cubicle."
Mike is a genius. Granted today was just one of those days where absolutely nothing seemed to go right. But thankfully we're just doing the news and not saving lives!
To start with the most amazing football game didn't get recorded on the weekend becaues someone switched the inputs. Then it was a shit-show to get feeds of it from other regions. Things just kept adding up and seeming to go wrong.
We only had one producer and he tends to let things stack up and come in late, which screws us over in the control room and tonight it showed. When we were supposed to go live to the Bridge City and our reporter out on the street there, we rolled the pak instead. Then because the producer dropped something further in the line-up (because they didn't get anyone to edit it and lost the tape!) it screwed up the rundown and we went to black on air. Then the sports guy's mic was open the whole time (and he wouldn't quit talking even when I told him not to!!). It just seemed like one thing after another and thankfully Mike and I didn't get down about it and just pushed on through and finished the show.
It's definitely not going to go on any demo reels but at least it wasn't a complete clusterfuck. And then he put things in perspective as he always does.
I can only hope to be as talented and knowledgeable as him one day. He was sideline camera op at the football game on Saturday night and some of the replays off his camera were AMAZING.
I think I've found my new hero and he's not a middle-aged, alcoholic sports announcer!
Mike is a genius. Granted today was just one of those days where absolutely nothing seemed to go right. But thankfully we're just doing the news and not saving lives!
To start with the most amazing football game didn't get recorded on the weekend becaues someone switched the inputs. Then it was a shit-show to get feeds of it from other regions. Things just kept adding up and seeming to go wrong.
We only had one producer and he tends to let things stack up and come in late, which screws us over in the control room and tonight it showed. When we were supposed to go live to the Bridge City and our reporter out on the street there, we rolled the pak instead. Then because the producer dropped something further in the line-up (because they didn't get anyone to edit it and lost the tape!) it screwed up the rundown and we went to black on air. Then the sports guy's mic was open the whole time (and he wouldn't quit talking even when I told him not to!!). It just seemed like one thing after another and thankfully Mike and I didn't get down about it and just pushed on through and finished the show.
It's definitely not going to go on any demo reels but at least it wasn't a complete clusterfuck. And then he put things in perspective as he always does.
I can only hope to be as talented and knowledgeable as him one day. He was sideline camera op at the football game on Saturday night and some of the replays off his camera were AMAZING.
I think I've found my new hero and he's not a middle-aged, alcoholic sports announcer!
Sunday, August 19, 2007
The night the lights went out
It's nights like this that people will talk about in thirty years. That people will sit around and say remember that game......
It's nights like this that I LOVE my job. It's such a rush. About twenty minutes before going to air with our late cast, the power went out (not to mention it was the start of the fourth quarter in the football game!) We were running with a show that was being held together with a piece of string and some tape to begin with (shooting the whole show in the newsroom as the studio is being repainted and has the lighting adjusted). Thank goodness for backup generators (although it only runs the "important" stuff.) Thankfully hi-lites had just finished being cut but unfortunately the tape was still in the unpowered machine. So after an executive decision we disconnected the deck from the system, carried it to the backroom (where the generator was feeding power) to plug it in and pop the tape.
Suprisingly we made it to air without a hitch until the power came back on and the entire station dipped to black for 30 seconds. It happened during a commercial break but happened literally as we were coming out of commercial to go back to air!! We made it back on, showed our hi-lites and got the hell out.
That's when the fun began. We decided to head down to the stadium to get post and I am so glad we went.
The atmosphere at the stadium for those fans that stuckout the blackout and the torrential downpour and the lightning did not disappoint. The place was like a rock concert (it was an even more amazing vibe than the Rolling Stones -- and I am not exaggerating in the least). I have never seen that much bare flesh at a late night football game -- except for that streaker a few weeks ago! It was like all of the fans had trickled down into the lower part of the stadium and were huddling together for warmth.
They were so loud and so exuberant that it would have been a shock if the team hadn't won. In talking to some of the players afterwards they were amazed at how many people stayed through that hour delay. As they sat in a blackened dressing room (after leaving the field because of a lightning delay) the only light coming from their cell phones, waiting to hear if they would indeed finish the game! And what an end it was. Down by five points going into the delay they had just recovered a fumble and there was a definite swing in momentum. They came back and won by a touchdown (just like I said they would!).
Tonight was a night that will go down in history for that stadium. She may be old and starting to get rundown but tonight was amazing!
It's nights like this that people will talk about in thirty years. Not to mention the fact that this was the game that put us first in the league. It's nights like this that become legendary......
I'm so glad I got to be apart of it.
It's nights like this that I LOVE my job. It's such a rush. About twenty minutes before going to air with our late cast, the power went out (not to mention it was the start of the fourth quarter in the football game!) We were running with a show that was being held together with a piece of string and some tape to begin with (shooting the whole show in the newsroom as the studio is being repainted and has the lighting adjusted). Thank goodness for backup generators (although it only runs the "important" stuff.) Thankfully hi-lites had just finished being cut but unfortunately the tape was still in the unpowered machine. So after an executive decision we disconnected the deck from the system, carried it to the backroom (where the generator was feeding power) to plug it in and pop the tape.
Suprisingly we made it to air without a hitch until the power came back on and the entire station dipped to black for 30 seconds. It happened during a commercial break but happened literally as we were coming out of commercial to go back to air!! We made it back on, showed our hi-lites and got the hell out.
That's when the fun began. We decided to head down to the stadium to get post and I am so glad we went.
The atmosphere at the stadium for those fans that stuckout the blackout and the torrential downpour and the lightning did not disappoint. The place was like a rock concert (it was an even more amazing vibe than the Rolling Stones -- and I am not exaggerating in the least). I have never seen that much bare flesh at a late night football game -- except for that streaker a few weeks ago! It was like all of the fans had trickled down into the lower part of the stadium and were huddling together for warmth.
They were so loud and so exuberant that it would have been a shock if the team hadn't won. In talking to some of the players afterwards they were amazed at how many people stayed through that hour delay. As they sat in a blackened dressing room (after leaving the field because of a lightning delay) the only light coming from their cell phones, waiting to hear if they would indeed finish the game! And what an end it was. Down by five points going into the delay they had just recovered a fumble and there was a definite swing in momentum. They came back and won by a touchdown (just like I said they would!).
Tonight was a night that will go down in history for that stadium. She may be old and starting to get rundown but tonight was amazing!
It's nights like this that people will talk about in thirty years. Not to mention the fact that this was the game that put us first in the league. It's nights like this that become legendary......
I'm so glad I got to be apart of it.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Sometimes you just have to take a break....
I had some good ideas for blogs to write but unfortunately due to massive brain-mush none of them seem to be formulating the way I want them to.
So perhaps it's time to take an evening to sit back and turn my brain to further mush by watching a little mindless talking box.
Good night.
So perhaps it's time to take an evening to sit back and turn my brain to further mush by watching a little mindless talking box.
Good night.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Another case of mistaken identity...
Apparently I am a chameleon (no not red, gold and green) of my surroundings. Once again I found myself being mistaken for someone caring, kind, and compassionate.
I find it quite humorous.
Last night while I was visiting Peaches, his nurses came in to change the gauze on his incision (which was healing nicely I might add!) Now I wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary (or so I thought -- perhaps all those many hours I have devoted to ER and Grey's Anatomy have paid off!)
But the nurse turned to me and started to tell me something, the slightly quizzical (not confused!) look I had on my face caused her to stop mid-sentence and ask, "Aren't you a nursing student?"
Between Peaches and my laughing about it, she quickly understood that indeed I was not the caring, compassionate individual she believed me to be.
But good to know that I can blend into the surroundings whenever I need to!
I find it quite humorous.
Last night while I was visiting Peaches, his nurses came in to change the gauze on his incision (which was healing nicely I might add!) Now I wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary (or so I thought -- perhaps all those many hours I have devoted to ER and Grey's Anatomy have paid off!)
But the nurse turned to me and started to tell me something, the slightly quizzical (not confused!) look I had on my face caused her to stop mid-sentence and ask, "Aren't you a nursing student?"
Between Peaches and my laughing about it, she quickly understood that indeed I was not the caring, compassionate individual she believed me to be.
But good to know that I can blend into the surroundings whenever I need to!
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Introspective
I started to contemplate some things as I sat listening to the whirring, and beeps that filled the darkened corridors. The gurgle of the humidifier. The smell of latex assaulting my nostrils. Watching the glow of the television dancing across his face.
Tonight was the first night since his accident that I actually got to spend some time alone with Peaches. And it was nice to just sit with him and talk.
I sat there in the darkened room, listening to the steady breathing of his roommate behind the curtain, thinking how quickly things can change.
Of course those thoughts got me thinking of my aunt and how quickly the cancer raced through her body. It still hits me like a tonne of bricks that I will never see her again. I think it will only truly sink completely in when I make it back Down Under and she's not there to welcome me "home".
Added up it's definitely making me see life through slightly different eyes. I'm still being a silly workaholic, and I know that I need to get things back on track with big brother, but I'm starting to think bigger picture. I want to make sure I do some of the things that I've always dreamed of doing.
With Peaches it's also becoming easier to verbalize things. Although maybe it's things that don't need to be said yet. He's changed, and is being a more considerate person and we are still on track with our honesty to one another.
I think my time in the QC is drawing to a close but I don't think I'm ready for the City of Bridges just yet. I'm not sure where life is going to take me, but wherever I go a part of Peaches is going with me.
Tonight was the first night since his accident that I actually got to spend some time alone with Peaches. And it was nice to just sit with him and talk.
I sat there in the darkened room, listening to the steady breathing of his roommate behind the curtain, thinking how quickly things can change.
Of course those thoughts got me thinking of my aunt and how quickly the cancer raced through her body. It still hits me like a tonne of bricks that I will never see her again. I think it will only truly sink completely in when I make it back Down Under and she's not there to welcome me "home".
Added up it's definitely making me see life through slightly different eyes. I'm still being a silly workaholic, and I know that I need to get things back on track with big brother, but I'm starting to think bigger picture. I want to make sure I do some of the things that I've always dreamed of doing.
With Peaches it's also becoming easier to verbalize things. Although maybe it's things that don't need to be said yet. He's changed, and is being a more considerate person and we are still on track with our honesty to one another.
I think my time in the QC is drawing to a close but I don't think I'm ready for the City of Bridges just yet. I'm not sure where life is going to take me, but wherever I go a part of Peaches is going with me.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Half way there........not completely insane
Twenty-one days in and only twenty-one days to go. I would venture a guess at about 47% insane (but of course I started out 34% insane) so I would have to say, so far so good.
Now if only I didn't have to put up with the "braintrust" for the next three weeks that insanity quotient probably wouldn't increase very much but I have a feeling as these weeks drag by, it's going to increase exponentially. Which should make for a fun little trip to NYC in September.
What it does mean though, is that I am constantly tired and regularly stay in. Except of course for a few drinks with the Co-worker and regular visits to Peaches.
The fundraiser for him next week should be something to see.
Now to maintain this comfortable level of insanity I should probably go to bed. Can't wait for NYC and Hawaii!
Now if only I didn't have to put up with the "braintrust" for the next three weeks that insanity quotient probably wouldn't increase very much but I have a feeling as these weeks drag by, it's going to increase exponentially. Which should make for a fun little trip to NYC in September.
What it does mean though, is that I am constantly tired and regularly stay in. Except of course for a few drinks with the Co-worker and regular visits to Peaches.
The fundraiser for him next week should be something to see.
Now to maintain this comfortable level of insanity I should probably go to bed. Can't wait for NYC and Hawaii!
Hemp, hippies and.........happiness?
In between the turquoise jewelry, organic cotton shirts, the healing power of amethyst and henna tattoos, was me.
I'm not sure what possessed me to wander downtown tonight into the midst of "hippie-ville" but there I was perusing the wares and wondering what sort of lifestyle would ever force me to use something like the Divacup or reusable menstrual pads...... clearly not my thing.
The 'dreds were out in full force as I was surrounded by hemp and hemp related products. Seriously, I thought I was doing pretty good for having a vegan wallet (of course it's Matt & Nat). But I don't even come close to comparing to these people.
It just wasn't the same without my partner in crime to ridicule the silliness of it all. But at least I could put a damper on her happiness by simply talking to her for 15 minutes (you're welcome Donni!)
Switching gears from hemp products. At work today I bore witness to a disturbing sight. While shooting a junior football game this afternoon, I was filled with dread as the third quarter ground to a halt. A player stayed down after one play (no big deal, it was after all the first game of the season and several players were helped off the field through the course of the game). This one was different one minute he was sitting up right, and the next he toppled over like a tree in the forest. His body went completely rigid, his arms stretched out in front of him as his entire body began to convulse. It felt like it went on forever and that it took an eternity for the ambulance to finally show up.
We chose not to run the footage. I hope the kid is going to be ok.
Time to go lay down and fix my back.
I'm not sure what possessed me to wander downtown tonight into the midst of "hippie-ville" but there I was perusing the wares and wondering what sort of lifestyle would ever force me to use something like the Divacup or reusable menstrual pads...... clearly not my thing.
The 'dreds were out in full force as I was surrounded by hemp and hemp related products. Seriously, I thought I was doing pretty good for having a vegan wallet (of course it's Matt & Nat). But I don't even come close to comparing to these people.
It just wasn't the same without my partner in crime to ridicule the silliness of it all. But at least I could put a damper on her happiness by simply talking to her for 15 minutes (you're welcome Donni!)
Switching gears from hemp products. At work today I bore witness to a disturbing sight. While shooting a junior football game this afternoon, I was filled with dread as the third quarter ground to a halt. A player stayed down after one play (no big deal, it was after all the first game of the season and several players were helped off the field through the course of the game). This one was different one minute he was sitting up right, and the next he toppled over like a tree in the forest. His body went completely rigid, his arms stretched out in front of him as his entire body began to convulse. It felt like it went on forever and that it took an eternity for the ambulance to finally show up.
We chose not to run the footage. I hope the kid is going to be ok.
Time to go lay down and fix my back.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Peaches.
I just got home from a visit with Peaches.
It was time to check out his new digs at the rehabilitation centre. It kinda depressed me. I think it's now finally setting in. That place would depress me. He went from a private room at the hospital with a window view to a shared room on the door side. But I suppose you could use your surroundings as motivation to get the hell out.
He looked better when I saw him Sunday at the hospital. I know he's scared shitless (and so am I, for him).
I laughed that he apologized when I decided to call it a night that we didn't really get to talk, for him seeing him is enough. He can't help it that he has non-stop visitors.
I am almost 100% that I'm going to move into the house with his little sister. I don't care what's happened between me and him in the past, or what could happen in the future. All I want is for him to have a full recovery, I would give anything for him to have that.
It was time to check out his new digs at the rehabilitation centre. It kinda depressed me. I think it's now finally setting in. That place would depress me. He went from a private room at the hospital with a window view to a shared room on the door side. But I suppose you could use your surroundings as motivation to get the hell out.
He looked better when I saw him Sunday at the hospital. I know he's scared shitless (and so am I, for him).
I laughed that he apologized when I decided to call it a night that we didn't really get to talk, for him seeing him is enough. He can't help it that he has non-stop visitors.
I am almost 100% that I'm going to move into the house with his little sister. I don't care what's happened between me and him in the past, or what could happen in the future. All I want is for him to have a full recovery, I would give anything for him to have that.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Playing with fire
What a brave man my landlord is....that or he's incredibly stupid, I'm not sure which. Perhaps a little of column A and a lot of column B.
My doorbell rang bright and early at 8am this morning. I knew exactly who it was and why. They had decided that they were going to sweep the parking lot but didn't specify a time and I had planned on moving my car when I left for work. I lay there in bed wondering if he would just go away. He rang my doorbell again. That pissed me off.
I dragged my tired (but fabulous) ass out of bed and scowled at my landlord as he politely asked me to move my car.
I felt fury building within me but kept it in check by keeping my mouth closed (well that and I had some morning breath).
So after moving my car and stumbling back into my shoebox (aka my apartment) I tried to go back to sleep but alas with a bedroom window that provides a stunning view of the parking lot (and therefore all the noise that goes with it) sleep was not in my near future.
I decided that if I was going to be up at this ungodly hour then I might as well make the most of it and get ready for work.
This would then give me ample time to drive 15 minutes out of my way, to buy an overpriced latte, and be a little bit snobby. I mean seriously, my day doesn't officially start until the clock hits double digits or I've had copious amounts of caffeine.
The latte was perfect and curbed some of the aforementioned rage.
And for a bit a reality check: As I was driving 15 minutes out of my way (normally I walk to work and could buy a perfectly decent cup of coffee from a locally owned shop across the street from my shoebox but today only one thing could make me happy. That little white cup with the green circle. ahh Starbucky's my one true love.) to buy my overpriced latte, Peaches was waiting for an ambulance to move him from the hospital to the rehabilitation centre. That thought sobered me. Then I remembered I wouldn't be me if I wasn't at least a bit of a snobby bitch, and besides it's good news that he's out of the hospital and will be fully into his rehab.
My doorbell rang bright and early at 8am this morning. I knew exactly who it was and why. They had decided that they were going to sweep the parking lot but didn't specify a time and I had planned on moving my car when I left for work. I lay there in bed wondering if he would just go away. He rang my doorbell again. That pissed me off.
I dragged my tired (but fabulous) ass out of bed and scowled at my landlord as he politely asked me to move my car.
I felt fury building within me but kept it in check by keeping my mouth closed (well that and I had some morning breath).
So after moving my car and stumbling back into my shoebox (aka my apartment) I tried to go back to sleep but alas with a bedroom window that provides a stunning view of the parking lot (and therefore all the noise that goes with it) sleep was not in my near future.
I decided that if I was going to be up at this ungodly hour then I might as well make the most of it and get ready for work.
This would then give me ample time to drive 15 minutes out of my way, to buy an overpriced latte, and be a little bit snobby. I mean seriously, my day doesn't officially start until the clock hits double digits or I've had copious amounts of caffeine.
The latte was perfect and curbed some of the aforementioned rage.
And for a bit a reality check: As I was driving 15 minutes out of my way (normally I walk to work and could buy a perfectly decent cup of coffee from a locally owned shop across the street from my shoebox but today only one thing could make me happy. That little white cup with the green circle. ahh Starbucky's my one true love.) to buy my overpriced latte, Peaches was waiting for an ambulance to move him from the hospital to the rehabilitation centre. That thought sobered me. Then I remembered I wouldn't be me if I wasn't at least a bit of a snobby bitch, and besides it's good news that he's out of the hospital and will be fully into his rehab.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Could you please be quiet.....
Tonight during the show I was trying to figure out how to tell my boss to shut up at the back of the control room, but I couldn't decide how to do it without using the patented, "Could you shut the fuck up!?" and still go back to work tomorrow.
So instead I bit my lip and kept my mouth shut trying to concentrate on the show.
Somehow we pulled it off.
Now I'm going to figure out how I'm going to politely tell him to shut the fuck up for tomorrow night's show.
I can't wait til the summer is over and I don't have to deal directly with the brain trust anymore!
So instead I bit my lip and kept my mouth shut trying to concentrate on the show.
Somehow we pulled it off.
Now I'm going to figure out how I'm going to politely tell him to shut the fuck up for tomorrow night's show.
I can't wait til the summer is over and I don't have to deal directly with the brain trust anymore!
Monday, August 6, 2007
Scare up some hope. You're going to need it just to cope.
Nights like tonight are when I loathe my job and ultimately considering just leaving it all behind.
On the bright side I know that I am not a complete robot and I hope that this job never makes me lose my emotions or become devoid of respect for human life.
As is customary for the long weekend I was in attendance at a fairly bad car accident. It happened not that long before we went to air and so the race was on to get some viz and get back before 11.
I did my customary cautious drive, but unfortunately this accident was bad enough that I was still there in time to witness the use of the jaws of life, and pulling the driver from the car.
I set up my sticks and stayed within the crowd of people because I hate doing this stuff, but it is a necessary evil to the job. At least I'm smart enough to know to stay out of the way of the cops, EMS and firemen. Not the CTV camera guy. He is the reason people hate the media. He showed up ten minutes behind me and proceeded to walk right up to the car they were working on extracting the driver from. Not only did he have no regard to the fact that he walked right into my shot but seriously you think the cops are going to let you stay there?
So because he was an ass that got the cops backs up towards us and they became a little pissy with me as well, when all I was doing was staying back and shooting what I needed from a distance.
As I was standing there shooting though I had to repress what emotions I could. I ranged from wanting to cry into my camera to thinking about puking on the sidewalk.
Luckily I did neither.
I'm not sure how everyone else deals with it. Sometimes it does help to just look through the viewfinder and because it's in black and white it seems a little less real, but when you start thinking that is someone's husband, father, son, brother.....that's when it starts to hit home.
Some guy was driving along maybe going home, maybe going out for the evening and because some jackass couldn't stop for a red light his life is now changed forever.
I guess it also didn't help that I went and visited Peaches again before I went to work, because as I was standing there shooting I kept thinking about him. Although he looks better each day I go and see him, it's still a shock to realize that he can't physically do things for himself.
I'm just a mess of emotions right now and I need to get some sleep so I can make it to work in the morning.
I hope the guy in the car accident is ok.
On the bright side I know that I am not a complete robot and I hope that this job never makes me lose my emotions or become devoid of respect for human life.
As is customary for the long weekend I was in attendance at a fairly bad car accident. It happened not that long before we went to air and so the race was on to get some viz and get back before 11.
I did my customary cautious drive, but unfortunately this accident was bad enough that I was still there in time to witness the use of the jaws of life, and pulling the driver from the car.
I set up my sticks and stayed within the crowd of people because I hate doing this stuff, but it is a necessary evil to the job. At least I'm smart enough to know to stay out of the way of the cops, EMS and firemen. Not the CTV camera guy. He is the reason people hate the media. He showed up ten minutes behind me and proceeded to walk right up to the car they were working on extracting the driver from. Not only did he have no regard to the fact that he walked right into my shot but seriously you think the cops are going to let you stay there?
So because he was an ass that got the cops backs up towards us and they became a little pissy with me as well, when all I was doing was staying back and shooting what I needed from a distance.
As I was standing there shooting though I had to repress what emotions I could. I ranged from wanting to cry into my camera to thinking about puking on the sidewalk.
Luckily I did neither.
I'm not sure how everyone else deals with it. Sometimes it does help to just look through the viewfinder and because it's in black and white it seems a little less real, but when you start thinking that is someone's husband, father, son, brother.....that's when it starts to hit home.
Some guy was driving along maybe going home, maybe going out for the evening and because some jackass couldn't stop for a red light his life is now changed forever.
I guess it also didn't help that I went and visited Peaches again before I went to work, because as I was standing there shooting I kept thinking about him. Although he looks better each day I go and see him, it's still a shock to realize that he can't physically do things for himself.
I'm just a mess of emotions right now and I need to get some sleep so I can make it to work in the morning.
I hope the guy in the car accident is ok.
Sunday, August 5, 2007
I've got absolutely nothing
I'm not sure what it is about Saturdays.....apparently they are a very uncreative day for me. That or perhaps I use all of my creativity at work (although I don't think that was the case today because all I did was shoot a Little League baseball game, not much creativity on that one!)
So with that I guess I will call it a night and fall in to bed, only to do it all again tomorrow!
So with that I guess I will call it a night and fall in to bed, only to do it all again tomorrow!
Friday, August 3, 2007
It's only a problem if you let it become one.
I have got to stop reading these books about successful young women who have shopping addictions. Simply because I fear I am one of them.
The problem comes when these fabulous women get themselves into debt and are forced to realize that perhaps they are a little superficial and forces them to curtail their shopping.
But for me shopping is happiness. My mother has never understood why I "need" so many clothes. I don't "need" them I just like to buy them because in that way money can buy happiness.
On a brighter note it was one of the greatest sights I could have asked for; seeing him lift his arms. Nothing (aside from him standing up from that chair and giving me a hug) could have made me happier today.
The problem comes when these fabulous women get themselves into debt and are forced to realize that perhaps they are a little superficial and forces them to curtail their shopping.
But for me shopping is happiness. My mother has never understood why I "need" so many clothes. I don't "need" them I just like to buy them because in that way money can buy happiness.
On a brighter note it was one of the greatest sights I could have asked for; seeing him lift his arms. Nothing (aside from him standing up from that chair and giving me a hug) could have made me happier today.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Brooks De-something-or-other
He's in Kandahar and when I watched his standup I was reminded of when he taught one of our classes and we were all swooning as he sat at the front of the room. Then of course there was audible disappointment when he stood up.
If only life could be framed like a standup all the time. Brooks would be totally hot.
If only life could be framed like a standup all the time. Brooks would be totally hot.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Phone a friend
I hate that I needed that kick in the ass to get over myself and go to the hospital. But I was just so terrified about what it would all be. Then I realized that he's probably scared each day (which he admitted to me he is) and that if nothing else I had to put on a brave face and be there for him.
It was like a cold pail of reality thrown in my face. While I knew what to expect and had been mentally preparing myself the entire walk there, seeing him laying there with a neck brace and unable to move was tough.
How quickly life can change.....
It was like a cold pail of reality thrown in my face. While I knew what to expect and had been mentally preparing myself the entire walk there, seeing him laying there with a neck brace and unable to move was tough.
How quickly life can change.....
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Maybe I missed my calling
I was just at Chapters (because what else is there to do on a Tuesday evening after you've watched Miami Ink?) searching for some new books to wallow in for a few days.
The Chapters' Boy finally managed to convince me (yeah he was really twisting my arm...) to get their damn discount card. Upon my response of, "I might as well I'm in here enough". Came his question of, "Are you a teacher?"
After a momentary pause and thinking this would be a fun little tale to weave (my name would be Indira and I would teach high school english at a decent Catholic high school. What?) but I decided against it.
But as I walked across the parking lot I started to think that maybe I had missed my calling. I would love to share my LOVE of books with others. Maybe I should go back to university and become a teacher. I would be helping others. It would give me a real sense of purpose in life.
Then I realized what I was thinking and that teaching kids who didn't get the work of Shakespeare and Chaucer would probably piss me off. Not to mention the fact that I don't really like kids, coupled with my potty mouth and pathological lying tendencies....it's probably for the best that I didn't go into education after all.
The Chapters' Boy finally managed to convince me (yeah he was really twisting my arm...) to get their damn discount card. Upon my response of, "I might as well I'm in here enough". Came his question of, "Are you a teacher?"
After a momentary pause and thinking this would be a fun little tale to weave (my name would be Indira and I would teach high school english at a decent Catholic high school. What?) but I decided against it.
But as I walked across the parking lot I started to think that maybe I had missed my calling. I would love to share my LOVE of books with others. Maybe I should go back to university and become a teacher. I would be helping others. It would give me a real sense of purpose in life.
Then I realized what I was thinking and that teaching kids who didn't get the work of Shakespeare and Chaucer would probably piss me off. Not to mention the fact that I don't really like kids, coupled with my potty mouth and pathological lying tendencies....it's probably for the best that I didn't go into education after all.
Monday, July 30, 2007
He'd look great with a black eye!
If I didn't need to keep my job I probably would have punched one of my co-workers in the face.
For some reason it was just one of those days, everything was being filed late and edit suites were at a premium. One certain B-List National reporter needs to learn that none of us want to edit with him, that's why he gets stuck with the new guys. That's why his edits are taking longer, oh yeah and because he doesn't give us a script until the last minute.
But tell me how quickly you would be able to edit after being thrown in halfway through, on a new system with someone breathing down your neck, huffing and puffing, pacing the back of the room, slamming tapes into the decks and not really giving you a script, then leaving the room when you're attempting to cover the story but not telling you who any of these people are.
Yep he's lucky that I need money to pay my rent and go to New York otherwise he'd be sporting a black eye right about now.......although I'm pretty sure my other co-workers would have appreciated it!
On the bright side, he missed his slot.
Normally this is something I would be disappointed in myself for, but frankly I did the best I could with what I had and I was pretty happy that he missed his timeslot.
Hopefully some wrist slapping will come his way!
For some reason it was just one of those days, everything was being filed late and edit suites were at a premium. One certain B-List National reporter needs to learn that none of us want to edit with him, that's why he gets stuck with the new guys. That's why his edits are taking longer, oh yeah and because he doesn't give us a script until the last minute.
But tell me how quickly you would be able to edit after being thrown in halfway through, on a new system with someone breathing down your neck, huffing and puffing, pacing the back of the room, slamming tapes into the decks and not really giving you a script, then leaving the room when you're attempting to cover the story but not telling you who any of these people are.
Yep he's lucky that I need money to pay my rent and go to New York otherwise he'd be sporting a black eye right about now.......although I'm pretty sure my other co-workers would have appreciated it!
On the bright side, he missed his slot.
Normally this is something I would be disappointed in myself for, but frankly I did the best I could with what I had and I was pretty happy that he missed his timeslot.
Hopefully some wrist slapping will come his way!
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Am I in high school?
After yet another questionable decision on my part I woke up Saturday morning with the dreaded embarassment of being over zealous.
I had a hickey.
Seriously, I never even had a hickey in high school. Actually I don't think I have ever had one. So with only two hours to go before I had to go to work, what the hell was I supposed to do?
I freaked out and was frantically thinking of solutions........could I get away with wearing a scarf around my neck (yeah because that wouldn't look strange on me especially in plus 30 heat!). Turtle-neck? Wait that's even more ridiculous than the scarf (not to mention that I don't actually own one!) Ice? Would copious amounts of ice do the trick? Oh why didn't I have a more misspent youth, then I would know how to handle this situation! Maybe makeup would do the trick, some heavy cover-up, only one problem I don't exactly have a cabinet full of makeup, more like a tube of mascara and some lipgloss (not exactly going to hide the ugly purple bruise on my neck!) And while the drug store is literally across the street I was NOT going out in public with that Thing on my neck! Perhaps I should just call in sick to work......
Thank god for the internet. My saving grace. After googling, "how to get rid of hickeys". I found several quick "home remedies" that I could employ before going to work.
Before I knew it the ugly purple bruise had faded to a faint slightly red circle on my neck, that as long as I didn't pull my hair back was unnoticeable (I bought some light cover-up just to be safe!)
Now I'm glad I made the Drummer walk back to his car!
And on a side-note: trying to drown your feelings with gin doesn't work. Neither does taking home the Drummer to try to push the Boy (even if only temporarily) from your mind. It just doesn't work.
I had a hickey.
Seriously, I never even had a hickey in high school. Actually I don't think I have ever had one. So with only two hours to go before I had to go to work, what the hell was I supposed to do?
I freaked out and was frantically thinking of solutions........could I get away with wearing a scarf around my neck (yeah because that wouldn't look strange on me especially in plus 30 heat!). Turtle-neck? Wait that's even more ridiculous than the scarf (not to mention that I don't actually own one!) Ice? Would copious amounts of ice do the trick? Oh why didn't I have a more misspent youth, then I would know how to handle this situation! Maybe makeup would do the trick, some heavy cover-up, only one problem I don't exactly have a cabinet full of makeup, more like a tube of mascara and some lipgloss (not exactly going to hide the ugly purple bruise on my neck!) And while the drug store is literally across the street I was NOT going out in public with that Thing on my neck! Perhaps I should just call in sick to work......
Thank god for the internet. My saving grace. After googling, "how to get rid of hickeys". I found several quick "home remedies" that I could employ before going to work.
Before I knew it the ugly purple bruise had faded to a faint slightly red circle on my neck, that as long as I didn't pull my hair back was unnoticeable (I bought some light cover-up just to be safe!)
Now I'm glad I made the Drummer walk back to his car!
And on a side-note: trying to drown your feelings with gin doesn't work. Neither does taking home the Drummer to try to push the Boy (even if only temporarily) from your mind. It just doesn't work.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Stand me up at the gates of hell.....
I haven't felt like doing much of anything.
Between the heat and my depression things get dodgy and I am tempted to curl up into the fetal position and take refuge on my couch.
But I won't.
The week working at home was what I needed, surrounded by friends and family but now I need to find a different salve to take the sting out of life.
I'm getting back to the shiftless feeling of "is this all there is?" There's got to be something else, something more to all of this, perhaps I'm not looking in the right places.
I need to work less. But I don't think I'd be happier with less money.
Between the heat and my depression things get dodgy and I am tempted to curl up into the fetal position and take refuge on my couch.
But I won't.
The week working at home was what I needed, surrounded by friends and family but now I need to find a different salve to take the sting out of life.
I'm getting back to the shiftless feeling of "is this all there is?" There's got to be something else, something more to all of this, perhaps I'm not looking in the right places.
I need to work less. But I don't think I'd be happier with less money.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
In the darkest of hours....
I battled tears a few times at work today but knew that I had that reassuring shoulder of several friends to lean on if and when I needed it.
I'm worried about him. But this is going to be about time, patience, strength and perseverance.
Because right now I don't have the energy to think of the alternative. He will get better because there is no other choice.
I'm worried about him. But this is going to be about time, patience, strength and perseverance.
Because right now I don't have the energy to think of the alternative. He will get better because there is no other choice.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Blink of an eye
It's funny how quickly things can change.
How something that you were mad about can suddenly become so trivial and meaningless.
That forgivness becomes a given and you wonder why you were ever being stubborn about it before.
Or realizing that there are things that are beyond our control and the best we can do is to learn to roll with the punches.
If the past few years have taught me anything they've taught me that.
Now I just hope that I'm strong enough to roll with these punches and that so is he....
How something that you were mad about can suddenly become so trivial and meaningless.
That forgivness becomes a given and you wonder why you were ever being stubborn about it before.
Or realizing that there are things that are beyond our control and the best we can do is to learn to roll with the punches.
If the past few years have taught me anything they've taught me that.
Now I just hope that I'm strong enough to roll with these punches and that so is he....
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Sick of being sick.
Losing your voice and going to a family reunion don't mix very well.
Maybe I shouldn't have gone out to "party with the band" the night before but likely that was just the straw that broke the camel's sick back.
I hate not being able to talk. You can't get in your witty one-liners. Asking for things becomes a chore of part charades and mostly frustration on both sides.
I couldn't visit and catch up with family that I haven't seen in years because it was just too vocally painful. Alas the beer and sun seemed to soothe me slightly.
Work should be fun this week without a voice.
Maybe I shouldn't have gone out to "party with the band" the night before but likely that was just the straw that broke the camel's sick back.
I hate not being able to talk. You can't get in your witty one-liners. Asking for things becomes a chore of part charades and mostly frustration on both sides.
I couldn't visit and catch up with family that I haven't seen in years because it was just too vocally painful. Alas the beer and sun seemed to soothe me slightly.
Work should be fun this week without a voice.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Apparenlty I'm a switch-hitter....
I went for beers with the Photographer last night (what I was bored and had to return his jacket! Don't judge me.)
Speaking of his jacket, he was telling me a story that relates back to that day. When he got back his writer gave him a hard time about giving his jacket to me because it "covered up his view".
At that point one of the other photographers walks up to them and says, "I wouldn't get my hopes up I'm pretty sure she plays for the other team."
Now it's not like I'm offended or anything, just curious as to why people keep coming to that conclusion. Granted I do NOT talk about my personal life at work. But this is the second time now that someone has assumed I'm gay because I don't go to work and talk about guys (I call that being professional!). Maybe they think that's why I love sports so much!
The Photographer laughed and assured them I wasn't. To which his writer responded with a shocked expression and has now assumed that the Photographer had sex with me. That's what I'm angry about. Because I didn't and I didn't want anyone at work to know about our casually seeing each other a few months ago.
Why can't people understand that you just want to keep your private life, PRIVATE!!!!
Speaking of his jacket, he was telling me a story that relates back to that day. When he got back his writer gave him a hard time about giving his jacket to me because it "covered up his view".
At that point one of the other photographers walks up to them and says, "I wouldn't get my hopes up I'm pretty sure she plays for the other team."
Now it's not like I'm offended or anything, just curious as to why people keep coming to that conclusion. Granted I do NOT talk about my personal life at work. But this is the second time now that someone has assumed I'm gay because I don't go to work and talk about guys (I call that being professional!). Maybe they think that's why I love sports so much!
The Photographer laughed and assured them I wasn't. To which his writer responded with a shocked expression and has now assumed that the Photographer had sex with me. That's what I'm angry about. Because I didn't and I didn't want anyone at work to know about our casually seeing each other a few months ago.
Why can't people understand that you just want to keep your private life, PRIVATE!!!!
Thursday, July 19, 2007
I don't want to be your friend.....if only it were that easy!
What do you do when the idiot stick figure with no soul wants to be your buddy?
If you're a sucker (like me) then you probably just go with the flow. As much as it probably kills you inside. How do I get myself into these situations? I think I'm pretty transparent. Can't these people see or sense my intense disgust, distaste and sometimes outright hatred of them?
Miss Demanding has continued with a couple of emails because she's too chicken-shit to pick up the phone and see what's going on. Easier for me because if I just keep "forgetting" to return emails then eventually three months will have gone by without us talking. Which in the end is for the best. After all if I wanted someone to treat me as badly as she does, I'd get a boyfriend!
If you're a sucker (like me) then you probably just go with the flow. As much as it probably kills you inside. How do I get myself into these situations? I think I'm pretty transparent. Can't these people see or sense my intense disgust, distaste and sometimes outright hatred of them?
Miss Demanding has continued with a couple of emails because she's too chicken-shit to pick up the phone and see what's going on. Easier for me because if I just keep "forgetting" to return emails then eventually three months will have gone by without us talking. Which in the end is for the best. After all if I wanted someone to treat me as badly as she does, I'd get a boyfriend!
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Selfish to the max!
I don't think I have ever met anyone quite so selfish and demanding. Frankly I hope I never have to meet anyone who could equal it and I doubt that anyone could be worse.
Again, I'm not too sure why I am still friends with this person. Old habits die hard I guess. So Miss Demanding took possession of her new condo tonight. I had told her a few times that I would help her paint, clean and move or whatever help she needed. She always gave me a bit of a whatever. When I left work tonight I called to see if she still needed a hand. Instead of saying sure you can help us with the last little bit she instead thought it was a good idea to ask me to pick up food for everyone. Apparently I have Messenger Bitch tattooed on my forehead. So like an idiot I agreed.
Now for someone who regularly blows off certain friends for other friends who have better plans she sure didn't have many people beating down her door to help her move. In fact if it wasn't for me and Peaches she would have been moving on her own!
But that's not what I'm really raging about.
When we finished moving stuff in and eaten the food I picked up, it was decided we'd go for a drink after everyone went home and showered. More than 2 hours later Peaches calls to say we're going to the local pub. I was standing there dripping water all over my floor after getting out of the tub to answer. Now only because Peaches called did I decide maybe I would make an appearance.
Normally Miss Demanding is preaching at me about walking to the pub from my apartment because I live downtown and "it's not safe!" Keep in mind this is the girl who left me walk home more than a dozen blocks in minus 40 at 2 in the morning because she wasn't ready to go home yet, oh and had left me sitting on a street corner a few nights before waiting for the Co-worker to pick me up, great friend. She's really concerned about my safety.
So I stumble to the pub thinking that I'll have a beer do a quick catch up and be on my way home. I walk in to a loud obnoxious band playing (it's a Tuesday night, WTF?) and can't find them anywhere. I spy them in a dark little corner off the side of the stage.
To my utter dismay the Idiot Stick Figure with no Soul is there as well. I pound my G&T without making it too obvious. Wander to the bathroom, where Miss Demanding doesn't see me washing my hands at the sink next to her, and walk past Peaches out the door without looking back (total time -- including walking to and from.....just under 20 minutes).
Now I don't know what's worse. The fact that apparently none of them noticed I was gone, or the fact that they didn't care enough to call and make sure that I had actually gone home and not been dragged off into an alley and raped (sorry over-active imagination as the result of too many books, movies and a paranoid mother).
Brutal.
Oh wait this is the girl who couldn't tell that two of her good friends were sleeping together for nearly two years when EVERYONE else could tell -- that's how self-centred she is!
I think I'm done with her. I'm tired of being under appreciated.
Again, I'm not too sure why I am still friends with this person. Old habits die hard I guess. So Miss Demanding took possession of her new condo tonight. I had told her a few times that I would help her paint, clean and move or whatever help she needed. She always gave me a bit of a whatever. When I left work tonight I called to see if she still needed a hand. Instead of saying sure you can help us with the last little bit she instead thought it was a good idea to ask me to pick up food for everyone. Apparently I have Messenger Bitch tattooed on my forehead. So like an idiot I agreed.
Now for someone who regularly blows off certain friends for other friends who have better plans she sure didn't have many people beating down her door to help her move. In fact if it wasn't for me and Peaches she would have been moving on her own!
But that's not what I'm really raging about.
When we finished moving stuff in and eaten the food I picked up, it was decided we'd go for a drink after everyone went home and showered. More than 2 hours later Peaches calls to say we're going to the local pub. I was standing there dripping water all over my floor after getting out of the tub to answer. Now only because Peaches called did I decide maybe I would make an appearance.
Normally Miss Demanding is preaching at me about walking to the pub from my apartment because I live downtown and "it's not safe!" Keep in mind this is the girl who left me walk home more than a dozen blocks in minus 40 at 2 in the morning because she wasn't ready to go home yet, oh and had left me sitting on a street corner a few nights before waiting for the Co-worker to pick me up, great friend. She's really concerned about my safety.
So I stumble to the pub thinking that I'll have a beer do a quick catch up and be on my way home. I walk in to a loud obnoxious band playing (it's a Tuesday night, WTF?) and can't find them anywhere. I spy them in a dark little corner off the side of the stage.
To my utter dismay the Idiot Stick Figure with no Soul is there as well. I pound my G&T without making it too obvious. Wander to the bathroom, where Miss Demanding doesn't see me washing my hands at the sink next to her, and walk past Peaches out the door without looking back (total time -- including walking to and from.....just under 20 minutes).
Now I don't know what's worse. The fact that apparently none of them noticed I was gone, or the fact that they didn't care enough to call and make sure that I had actually gone home and not been dragged off into an alley and raped (sorry over-active imagination as the result of too many books, movies and a paranoid mother).
Brutal.
Oh wait this is the girl who couldn't tell that two of her good friends were sleeping together for nearly two years when EVERYONE else could tell -- that's how self-centred she is!
I think I'm done with her. I'm tired of being under appreciated.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Tech-not-so-savy
After a four year relationship I was tired of being let down at critical moments. Tired of my partner shutting down completely and then taking forever to let me back in.
Yep after four long years I decided that it was time to get a new mobile phone.
Now this should be a fairly simple task, right? I mean all I need is a phone that can dial out, receive calls and send the occasional (alright multitudes worth) of text messages. When I told the woman that this morning she basically laughed in my face and said good luck.
Now I have in my employ a fabulous, sleek little black samsung that allows me to download music, games, ringtones, is bluetooth capable (don't think I'll be using this), can do video and take pictures (with several different white balance options -- does the average Joe know what a white balance is?), has the capability for expanded memory, is web capable, will tell me what I'm doing wrong with my life, balance my checkbook, make me dinner, clean my apartment, drive my car, wash my hair, do my laundry, give me the answers to life and oh yeah I can also send and receive phone calls from it too.
Seriously do we really need this sort of technology that supposedly makes us more connected but in the end allows me to stay in touch with people without ever really having to talk to them. Isn't it grand.
Yep after four long years I decided that it was time to get a new mobile phone.
Now this should be a fairly simple task, right? I mean all I need is a phone that can dial out, receive calls and send the occasional (alright multitudes worth) of text messages. When I told the woman that this morning she basically laughed in my face and said good luck.
Now I have in my employ a fabulous, sleek little black samsung that allows me to download music, games, ringtones, is bluetooth capable (don't think I'll be using this), can do video and take pictures (with several different white balance options -- does the average Joe know what a white balance is?), has the capability for expanded memory, is web capable, will tell me what I'm doing wrong with my life, balance my checkbook, make me dinner, clean my apartment, drive my car, wash my hair, do my laundry, give me the answers to life and oh yeah I can also send and receive phone calls from it too.
Seriously do we really need this sort of technology that supposedly makes us more connected but in the end allows me to stay in touch with people without ever really having to talk to them. Isn't it grand.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Too much information!
I have learned after a few bad experiences that you should curb your alcohol intake around co-workers.
Now I just wish that some of my co-workers would learn this little lesson. Because Sunday nights are like Friday nights for those of us that work every weekend, sometimes we actually get our shit together to go for a wobbly pop or two after our show is over. Last night was one of those nights. Our weekday director showed up about 20 minutes before we went to air, bombed out of his mind and carrying a sack of beer (classy pirate eye was in full effect with a dodgy Canadian cowboy hat that he found in a 15 pack). So after offering up a beer to a couple of the lads prior to going on-air, we actually had a seamless show.
When we got out, it was unreal some of the things that were coming out of his mouth. He told us how he had stopped smoking pot because he and his wife (another one of our co-workers) are now trying to get pregnant. Then he started telling us how she had just had her first 28 day cycle and he continued talking about her period.
Now I was the only female at the table and at that point I tuned out (seriously, I don't need to hear about someone else's periods!) as for the rest of the guys at the table -- all of their eyes glazed over and they had that panicked look like they wanted to flee at the word period.
It went steadly downhill from there as he continued to tell us about their doctor appointments, and then he started having a heart to heart with another of the guys. I couldn't drink my gin fast enough to get out of there.
I also learned that another of our co-workers had to endure seeing one of the older anchors buck-naked at the gym one day. When my mind started to wander to the mental picture stage I had to slam my gin to douse that horrific image. Clearly he was still scarred by it admitting he can no longer look him in the eye.
I think we all learned a lesson at the table last night.
Hopefully I won't have to hear about anymore periods.
Now I just wish that some of my co-workers would learn this little lesson. Because Sunday nights are like Friday nights for those of us that work every weekend, sometimes we actually get our shit together to go for a wobbly pop or two after our show is over. Last night was one of those nights. Our weekday director showed up about 20 minutes before we went to air, bombed out of his mind and carrying a sack of beer (classy pirate eye was in full effect with a dodgy Canadian cowboy hat that he found in a 15 pack). So after offering up a beer to a couple of the lads prior to going on-air, we actually had a seamless show.
When we got out, it was unreal some of the things that were coming out of his mouth. He told us how he had stopped smoking pot because he and his wife (another one of our co-workers) are now trying to get pregnant. Then he started telling us how she had just had her first 28 day cycle and he continued talking about her period.
Now I was the only female at the table and at that point I tuned out (seriously, I don't need to hear about someone else's periods!) as for the rest of the guys at the table -- all of their eyes glazed over and they had that panicked look like they wanted to flee at the word period.
It went steadly downhill from there as he continued to tell us about their doctor appointments, and then he started having a heart to heart with another of the guys. I couldn't drink my gin fast enough to get out of there.
I also learned that another of our co-workers had to endure seeing one of the older anchors buck-naked at the gym one day. When my mind started to wander to the mental picture stage I had to slam my gin to douse that horrific image. Clearly he was still scarred by it admitting he can no longer look him in the eye.
I think we all learned a lesson at the table last night.
Hopefully I won't have to hear about anymore periods.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
water everywhere......
It is as if the heavens have opened and are raining down precious precious 80's reunions upon us. It is a quaint flashback to a more innocent era of big hair, fluorescent accesories, coloured mascara, leggings, baggy tops, shoulder pads, hyper-color t-shirts, slouch socks and ray-bans (basically I am just picturing my Aunt in all her 80s youthful glory). I can hardly contain my excitement knowing that two shows will allow me to wallow in the wonderment that was my youth and the television crushes they produced.
Who doesn't love Chachi? If he was good enough for Joanie he was good enough for me.
Don't even get me started on the Coreys. The one had a License to Drive and the other was a Goonie. These two Lost Boys managed to steal many a heart back in their day and it's only a matter of time before women of a certain age are entranced by the train wreck their lives became. It's going to be amazing. Stand By Me as I watch but don't bother calling me. I'll be having a little stroll down memory lane with the Coreys and Scott.
Oh A&E you never fail to amaze me!
Who doesn't love Chachi? If he was good enough for Joanie he was good enough for me.
Don't even get me started on the Coreys. The one had a License to Drive and the other was a Goonie. These two Lost Boys managed to steal many a heart back in their day and it's only a matter of time before women of a certain age are entranced by the train wreck their lives became. It's going to be amazing. Stand By Me as I watch but don't bother calling me. I'll be having a little stroll down memory lane with the Coreys and Scott.
Oh A&E you never fail to amaze me!
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Friday Night Football
Sometimes life is just right. When the planets align and the moon is full -- there are those rare occasions where I love my job, the people I work with, my friends, and where I'm at.
Last night was one of those nights. It was also a perfect night for football. Nothing like a little Friday the 13th late evening game to get the weekend going. It was beautiful as the sun set and there was a rosy pink hue to the sky and under the glare of the lights the gridiron had never looked as glorious.
Unfortunately there were a few downsides to the game. Number one, I'm pretty sure they water down their booze. When I pay $5 for a cocktail I expect it to have a little oomph to it. I had four of 'em and walked out of there without the slightest of buzzes (I think I got a better buzz off the boys who decided to spark a joint in front of us -- dumbasses).
The second problem was perhaps the company I kept for the game. After several other friends and family members ditched out of the game I was left to attend with a college friend. Which is fine, she likes football it should have been fun. Instead she was her usual self and I was annoyed before the opening kickoff. She needs to learn to relax. For some reason we scammed a ride with this random group of guys and she proceeded to get pissy when we got out and one of their friends asked "who are the randoms?" I took it in stride and started walking towards the stadium. She stood there and became uber-bitch to them because "I don't have to put up with this!" -- note that she also didn't have to get a ride with them. Seriously, she needs to relax.
I could go on about her but I will refrain. Let's suffice it to say that my plans after the game weren't cool enough for her and she left me sitting on the corner in front of a downtown hotel waiting for The Co-worker to come pick me up. She felt she could leave me there by myself because poor her "had to go into the pub by herself and she felt like such a loser". (I won't say anything else).
The other thing that sucked is they lost the game. I was more than a little disappointed but decided that they were due for a loss and hopefully this will ground them and show them how good they have to be to make it further!
The great part of the night was actually hanging out with my co-workers. We bonded over beers and consequently hung out with a couple of players from the opposing team. Nothing like having Paul and Buck staring at your cleavage -- I'm pretty sure Dave was looking too!
All in all another great Friday night!
Last night was one of those nights. It was also a perfect night for football. Nothing like a little Friday the 13th late evening game to get the weekend going. It was beautiful as the sun set and there was a rosy pink hue to the sky and under the glare of the lights the gridiron had never looked as glorious.
Unfortunately there were a few downsides to the game. Number one, I'm pretty sure they water down their booze. When I pay $5 for a cocktail I expect it to have a little oomph to it. I had four of 'em and walked out of there without the slightest of buzzes (I think I got a better buzz off the boys who decided to spark a joint in front of us -- dumbasses).
The second problem was perhaps the company I kept for the game. After several other friends and family members ditched out of the game I was left to attend with a college friend. Which is fine, she likes football it should have been fun. Instead she was her usual self and I was annoyed before the opening kickoff. She needs to learn to relax. For some reason we scammed a ride with this random group of guys and she proceeded to get pissy when we got out and one of their friends asked "who are the randoms?" I took it in stride and started walking towards the stadium. She stood there and became uber-bitch to them because "I don't have to put up with this!" -- note that she also didn't have to get a ride with them. Seriously, she needs to relax.
I could go on about her but I will refrain. Let's suffice it to say that my plans after the game weren't cool enough for her and she left me sitting on the corner in front of a downtown hotel waiting for The Co-worker to come pick me up. She felt she could leave me there by myself because poor her "had to go into the pub by herself and she felt like such a loser". (I won't say anything else).
The other thing that sucked is they lost the game. I was more than a little disappointed but decided that they were due for a loss and hopefully this will ground them and show them how good they have to be to make it further!
The great part of the night was actually hanging out with my co-workers. We bonded over beers and consequently hung out with a couple of players from the opposing team. Nothing like having Paul and Buck staring at your cleavage -- I'm pretty sure Dave was looking too!
All in all another great Friday night!
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Deadline is looming.....
I'm at a crossroads and I don't know what to do.
I mean it's obvious that I have two options to choose from so I have a fifty percent chance of picking the "right" one. But that also means I have a fifty percent chance of really screwing things up.
I guess at least it's only two choices and not more.
I've been stressing about this decision for weeks, trying to put it off as long as humanly possible (because I am pretty good at procrastinating) but now the deadline for a decision is looming and I'm still at a loss.
Who would have thought that renewing my mobile number could be this stressful.
I mean it's obvious that I have two options to choose from so I have a fifty percent chance of picking the "right" one. But that also means I have a fifty percent chance of really screwing things up.
I guess at least it's only two choices and not more.
I've been stressing about this decision for weeks, trying to put it off as long as humanly possible (because I am pretty good at procrastinating) but now the deadline for a decision is looming and I'm still at a loss.
Who would have thought that renewing my mobile number could be this stressful.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
If I had 15 million dollars......
I buy a lottery ticket most Saturdays in the vain hope that I'll win and be able to quit one or both of my jobs. Wouldn't that be nice?
All I can daydream about is disappearing off the face of the earth and sending plane tickets to a very few select people to meet up with me on a beach somewhere.
Instead I sit in my crappy little shoebox apartment. Hoping that my rent cheque won't bounce, trying to space out bill payments so that I'll have enough cash to have a couple of beers on the weekend and hoping desperately that one day my student loan will just......disappear.
I could use that 15 million dollars any day now......
All I can daydream about is disappearing off the face of the earth and sending plane tickets to a very few select people to meet up with me on a beach somewhere.
Instead I sit in my crappy little shoebox apartment. Hoping that my rent cheque won't bounce, trying to space out bill payments so that I'll have enough cash to have a couple of beers on the weekend and hoping desperately that one day my student loan will just......disappear.
I could use that 15 million dollars any day now......
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Living in 16:9
Life would be so much better if everything was in wide-screen.....it's beautiful.
I feel lately like everyone else is living in 16:9 but I'm only functioning in 4:3. How confining.....
My edges are cropped by black pillared sides, no letter-boxing for me! Just standard-definition all the way - my daydreams of high-definition are a myth. Colours aren't as bright, pictures not as crisp, everything looks so dull.
I want to start living in 16:9. Freedom would be a given with all that extra space to move and breathe.
I feel lately like everyone else is living in 16:9 but I'm only functioning in 4:3. How confining.....
My edges are cropped by black pillared sides, no letter-boxing for me! Just standard-definition all the way - my daydreams of high-definition are a myth. Colours aren't as bright, pictures not as crisp, everything looks so dull.
I want to start living in 16:9. Freedom would be a given with all that extra space to move and breathe.
Monday, July 9, 2007
Working is for suckers......
I seem to be getting forgetful in my "old" age. Or perhaps I'm just working too much and spacing on a lot of things, like say paying my rent. Whoops.
I have been spending a lot of sociable time with The Co-worker. Somehow I think I managed to convince him to take Friday off and come to the game with me. He NEVER takes games off! I'm worried that I'm walking a very fine line and that he's going to start seeing the wrong side of it.
It also doesn't help that the competition was grabbing my ass whilst we were waiting to scrum the opposing head coach. Nothing like a little sexual harassment to make a weekend of work complete.
Actually what made it complete was getting a speeding ticket in the work vehicle. Then finding out that 15 minutes later my other co-workers picked up a speeding ticket at the same speed trap. I laughed that working all day wasn't quite going to cover the cost of the ticket.
I think it's time to find a new job.
And now I can't get mushaboom out of my head......
I have been spending a lot of sociable time with The Co-worker. Somehow I think I managed to convince him to take Friday off and come to the game with me. He NEVER takes games off! I'm worried that I'm walking a very fine line and that he's going to start seeing the wrong side of it.
It also doesn't help that the competition was grabbing my ass whilst we were waiting to scrum the opposing head coach. Nothing like a little sexual harassment to make a weekend of work complete.
Actually what made it complete was getting a speeding ticket in the work vehicle. Then finding out that 15 minutes later my other co-workers picked up a speeding ticket at the same speed trap. I laughed that working all day wasn't quite going to cover the cost of the ticket.
I think it's time to find a new job.
And now I can't get mushaboom out of my head......
Sunday, July 8, 2007
This 14 hour day brought to you by 5 hours of sleep....
I don't know what I was thinking. I suppose I felt left out that I didn't get to experience the complete torment of a nearly 40 degree day because I was sitting in a very well air-conditioned control room (aka the fish-bowl).
I decided that I NEEDED to go out drinking last night and that I HAD to sit on a patio. So I rounded up the crew and we headed to La B (because I'm snobby -- but mostly because I was looking forward to sitting on the rooftop patio and demolishing a couple of bottles of that reisling). No patio space was to be had at La B, so we got stuck inside where it was like sitting in an oven. Seriously when the backs of my knees are sweating from just sitting there something tells me it's too hot.
So we ditched out and went to the north end. Me and The Co-worker ended up being the only two there at one point which got a little strange -- I drank more (I was making sure to keep myself hydrated in that heat with plenty of gin and tonic).
Needless to say my 9:30 start this morning came very very early and just finishing a half hour ago did not make for a fun day.
I think I screwed my chances on getting free tickets to Friday night's game when I shot back at the PR Guy "I don't sleep with my co-workers". While I could have just been referring to The Co-worker, I really was referring to the PR Guy. He kind of avoided me for the rest of the day.
Why did I have to go and open my big fat mouth?
Looks like I better buy some tickets before it sells out. Shit.
I decided that I NEEDED to go out drinking last night and that I HAD to sit on a patio. So I rounded up the crew and we headed to La B (because I'm snobby -- but mostly because I was looking forward to sitting on the rooftop patio and demolishing a couple of bottles of that reisling). No patio space was to be had at La B, so we got stuck inside where it was like sitting in an oven. Seriously when the backs of my knees are sweating from just sitting there something tells me it's too hot.
So we ditched out and went to the north end. Me and The Co-worker ended up being the only two there at one point which got a little strange -- I drank more (I was making sure to keep myself hydrated in that heat with plenty of gin and tonic).
Needless to say my 9:30 start this morning came very very early and just finishing a half hour ago did not make for a fun day.
I think I screwed my chances on getting free tickets to Friday night's game when I shot back at the PR Guy "I don't sleep with my co-workers". While I could have just been referring to The Co-worker, I really was referring to the PR Guy. He kind of avoided me for the rest of the day.
Why did I have to go and open my big fat mouth?
Looks like I better buy some tickets before it sells out. Shit.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Testing.....1...2...3.....testing
I'm not sure why I keep doing this to myself.
Peaches is my Mr. Big.
I just can't seem to get away from him. Just when I think that he's out of my life he comes waltzing right back in and I'm back to square one. We went for drinks tonight with a couple of his friends (one of which I'm pretty sure he used to date). I giggled when they both left the table (him to pay my tab -- I know things have changed on that front!!) and she immediately asked me how long we had been dating. Now I didn't think we were giving off the vibe that we were "together" but now I'm worried that she could see right through me!
Dammit if he's my Mr. Big I hope this doesn't mean I'll end up with some creepy old Russian guy! Although if it means he wants to punch him in the face I'm all for it! hahahaha
I was sure that he was going to disappoint me tonight. In fact I was more surprised that he didn't disappoint. Strange that I was setting myself up for that......I guess I was testing him.
Peaches is my Mr. Big.
I just can't seem to get away from him. Just when I think that he's out of my life he comes waltzing right back in and I'm back to square one. We went for drinks tonight with a couple of his friends (one of which I'm pretty sure he used to date). I giggled when they both left the table (him to pay my tab -- I know things have changed on that front!!) and she immediately asked me how long we had been dating. Now I didn't think we were giving off the vibe that we were "together" but now I'm worried that she could see right through me!
Dammit if he's my Mr. Big I hope this doesn't mean I'll end up with some creepy old Russian guy! Although if it means he wants to punch him in the face I'm all for it! hahahaha
I was sure that he was going to disappoint me tonight. In fact I was more surprised that he didn't disappoint. Strange that I was setting myself up for that......I guess I was testing him.
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Single Life
There are very few moments in my life where I loathe being a single woman. One of them is family gatherings. Nothing is more annoying than a cousin who settled into his life at the tender age of 20 -- marrying his high school girlfriend and never got out of small town life -- constantly asking why you don't have a boyfriend.
I have taken to letting the family think I am a lesbian. If nothing else the cousin usually tends to quit asking about a boyfriend as he keeps his distance (in case it's contagious!)
The other time I hate being a single gal is during grocery shopping. Especially if you haven't gotten groceries in a few weeks. Carrying bags up three flights of stairs (and no multiple trips are not an option when you're stubborn) is never fun. That's when I long to have a boy who will not only go grocery shopping with me, but carry them up the stairs and even put the shit away. That would be nice.
But in the mean time, I love having my own space. So perhaps I'll have to suck it up -- carry my own groceries and let the cousins think I'm gay. Life doesn't get much better than that!
Oh yeah Happy America Day!
I have taken to letting the family think I am a lesbian. If nothing else the cousin usually tends to quit asking about a boyfriend as he keeps his distance (in case it's contagious!)
The other time I hate being a single gal is during grocery shopping. Especially if you haven't gotten groceries in a few weeks. Carrying bags up three flights of stairs (and no multiple trips are not an option when you're stubborn) is never fun. That's when I long to have a boy who will not only go grocery shopping with me, but carry them up the stairs and even put the shit away. That would be nice.
But in the mean time, I love having my own space. So perhaps I'll have to suck it up -- carry my own groceries and let the cousins think I'm gay. Life doesn't get much better than that!
Oh yeah Happy America Day!
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