Nothing is better on a Friday night of a 30 degree day, with high humidity and having sat for three hours on a wooden bench surrounded by drunken buffoons adorned in green and white cheering on their football team, sweating like a cheap whore on a busy night, and paying $4 for a hotdog that was the first thing you ate that day, than to wander down the strip post game and discover your favorite local band is playing.
How I love to listen to Tim McGraw's vocals crooning out of that speaker as he breaks out Roxy Roller. Doogie Howser is wicked on the skins as he tears into his one-armed version of Wipeout. Then there's Donnie Wahlberg belting out Relax and spraying water all over the stage as he sings "when you wanna cum".
It was a sweaty hot mess in there made only worse by the appearance of Sally and some of his drunken frat boy football buddies. (Note to Sally: throwing ice cubes down my top from across the crowded dance floor -- while impressive -- does not endear you to me in anyway shape or form. Neither does letting your creepy drunk friends hit on me or hover next to my table staring at me!) You're 27 and married Sally -- pull it together and besides you look so much better in pinstripe suits than flip flops and an Abercrombie T-shirt.
If I can round up Jeremy Piven and Jason Biggs, then I'll forego Leo Dicaprio's Thai paradise and not celebrate Owen Wilson's birthday bash at the Beach.
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1 comment:
Talking points:
1)whether Sally looks better in pinstripes versus flip flops in a matter of opinion. I'd say the two are in a dead heat.
2)you HAVE to go to Owen Wilson's party. What about your tradition? What about the shrimp shack??
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